


Strangers and Creators

by camisadomg



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Alec Lightwood, End of the World, Explicit Language, Fallen Angels, M/M, Malec, Soldier Magnus Bane, Strangers to Lovers, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-10-20 19:05:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10668918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camisadomg/pseuds/camisadomg
Summary: The War meant the end of the world, and Magnus couldn't possibly save it all on his own.





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> The chapters are short, but there will be plenty :)

When he fell, there was nothing stopping him from destroying Earth. He was cosmic energy, light in its purest form, ready to explode and end the War for good. But he couldn't , he knew that his mission was to end the War but save the humans. He and the other Angels had been warned, when the humans were first created out of evolution and a little bit of belief. They had been told, "Leave them alone long enough and they will ruin everything." Or, something along those lines. 

He, just like the others, never thought much of it. Why should they care about the humans who were nowhere near their levels of perfection and grace? But over time, they came to protect the humans from as much as they could. Now the time came to protect them from themselves. 

He had volunteered to go down. As he fell, he began to forget about his home, and what he really was. When he landed, he would just be Alexander, the human with powers unknown. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was royalty in a camouflage suit, crown lined by a kill count rather than jewels. Everyone knew him because he was the model soldier; to be honored like him would be the achievement of a lifetime. He ended up working under the government but off of the field. He traded in his semi-automatic for a stick-shift car that carried him from place to place relatively safely, and that was that. No need to talk about his past. There had been a rumor forming, that an alien had fallen from the sky and it was his job to dispel the rumors from the ranks so that they could focus on their job.

Then he would have to drive back to his base to deal with the alien.

He arrived at a building that he would film a short message in, which would then be sent out to the troops via satellite. He gave the camera a basic message that consisted of overly-formal language and an emotionless face, and then he was gone again. There was never a time where he was completely relaxed. 

Back at the base, a stranger was strapped down to a bed in the medical unit, heart rate being monitored and blood samples being drawn. "This was the emergency?" He asked. "A regular boy? What, did he avoid drafting somehow?"

"Bane," a gravelly voice began. It was his commander. People couldn't believe that the Great Magnus Bane had a boss, but everyone had a boss, somewhere. "This isn't a regular boy."

He looked back at the body laying on the bed. "What's so special about him?" The figure was younger than him, paler, smoother. 

"To start, he fell practically from space to the ground and he is alive, not even a broken bone." 

This made Magnus quirk an eyebrow. "So, he really is an alien?"

"Magnus," His boss scoffed. It was rare that he used a first name to address anyone, but Magnus was always a special case.

"It's a fair question," Magnus said, shrugging.

"He's no alien. Does he look like an alien to you?"

Magnus looked once more. The stranger looked normal. In fact, with his eyes closed and mouth slightly agape, he looked more innocent than any man Magnus had ever seen before. "Well, then how could he have survived a fall like that?" 

"We're testing his blood now." 

"Maybe he's an alien in disguise." Magnus suggested, earning a sigh from his boss. 

"You always say the craziest shit." 

Magnus chuckled. "I'm just trying to help. That's my job." 

Then a nurse rushed in. She looked ashen, like she had seen a ghost. "Hello, sirs." She greeted politely. "The doctor has the results of the patient's blood tests, she'll be in shortly to talk with you."

"Thank you." Magnus said, throwing a wink to the flustered woman.

"Stop it, Bane." His boss warned. Magnus Bane, while famous for his humanity, was infamous for his bedside manner. 

When the doctor entered, Magnus had to step back and lower his head. She was an ex, and a bitter one at that. "Doctor Belcourt," Magnus's boss nodded eagerly, waiting for the answers.

"We've looked at these samples again and again." The doctor frowned, sultry voice sounding less than pleased. "And there is nothing abnormal in his body, not that we can tell. The brain scans will take longer to print because of the issues up North, but perhaps they'll be more enlightening." 

"You mean to say that he's human?" Magnus wondered, not directly looking at his former lover.

Camille Belcourt and Magnus Bane were quite the topic to talk about two years ago. However, their split happened on terrible terms and now Magnus felt like a prisoner to her icy stare whenever they were forced to be in the same room together. "Well, he looks human. His blood is human. If you can put two and two together, you'll see that yes, this boy is human." Camille answered, speaking as though Magnus was a mentally handicapped schoolboy.

"Thank you, Doctor." Magnus's boss interjected before Magnus could snap back at her. The two continued the conversation, but Magnus tuned them out, looking at the boy in the bed and wondering what they were missing, what piece of information was still hidden from them. 


	2. Chapter 2

When he started to wake up, the only thing he could hear was a shrill hum that made his skull feel like it was splitting in two. The hum spoke to him like a language, but the only thing he could pick out was, _"Alexander."_

Then the humming faded and his eyes snapped open. He was sweating all over, and he didn't know where or who he was. Something felt wrong, his body felt too small and too tight. When he tried to sit up, he found that he was strapped down. He began struggling, unable to form words because he didn't know any language. The sounds that escaped him were guttural and instinctual, throat raw from having never been used before. 

"Holy fuck," A voice said next to him, although the sounds meant nothing to him. "You're awake." Hearing the voice only panicked him more, but he forced himself to breathe and look around. 

The only other person in the room was another man, who was more tan and had hair that was neatly buzzed on his head. He watched as the stranger's mouth moved, but the sounds that were coming out of it were still foreign. The stranger started speaking different sounds that came out accented, but none of the differences were any clearer to him. Slowly, the stranger stepped closer, taking a seat next to the bed. 

"Me," He pointed to himself. Then he moved his hand towards the boy and said, "You." He repeated this motion until the boy was able to nod and say "Me." and point to himself and then move his hand to touch the stranger and whisper, "You."

This made the stranger smile, and he started making more noises with his mouth, but he hadn't taught the boy any of the noises so it made no sense. When he managed to calm down, he continued the small English lesson. "Me," He began, pointing to himself. "My name is Magnus. Magnus." He said the last sound over and over again. "Me, Magnus. Me, Magnus." It became rhythmic. Then he changed the rhythm and asked, "You?"

_You are Alexander,_ the ear-splitting hum announced in his mind. _Alexander, Alexander._ He cried out in pain, feeling like the hum would kill him. Then it faded. The stranger looked worried. "A-Alexander." He managed to say, though his tongue felt heavy and his mouth struggled to perfectly spit out the four syllables. 

The stranger, who had been labeled Magnus in the man's mind, broke out in a huge smile. Then, more people entered the room and began crowding around the man, pushing Magnus away. He instantly shut down, trying hard to make sense of the sounds that were being flung around the room. He watched as someone directed sounds at a different person, and they would make sounds back in response. He frantically searched the room for the man called Magnus, but couldn't see him. 

There was a loud noise, and then the room quieted. Alexander looked toward the sound and saw a person standing on a chair, curving body demanding the attention of everyone in the room. She said something, and the people began filing out. But there was still no sign of Magnus. The woman stepped down off the chair and closed the door once everyone had gone. She approached Alexander, saying something and not understanding why he didn't respond. Her mouth started moving incredibly fast, making Alexander's head pound. Eventually he just said, "You," and then, "Magnus."

This made the woman pause. Alexander realized that the stranger's label had power and meaning to it. So he repeated, "Magnus." This made the woman frown. "Magnus," He said once more and watched as she sighed and stomped out of the room.

Minutes later, Alexander heard sounds approaching. There was the familiar sound of Magnus, but he was accompanied by the woman's shrill voice. It was almost as bad as the humming. 

Magnus and Camille were in the middle of a heated debate, undecipherable to Alexander. "He keeps saying your name," Camille said, pushing Magnus through the door. "But he doesn't seem to understand anything else."

"That's because I taught him my name," Magnus replied. "You know, with a good old thing I like to call _patience."_

"You wouldn't know patience if it bit you in the ass." Camille snapped. They were both walking toward Alexander, but he only watched Magnus. When they got to the bed, Alexander said his name, which made the man smile. He gave Camille a look that said, _told you so._ Camille sighed and relented. "Well, we need information. Talk to him, write stuff down."

Magnus waved her away and Alexander was happy to see her go. Then it was just the two men alone again, and Magnus was excited to help the stranger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
"Hello," Magnus smiled. Alexander smiled back, but did not say anything else. Magnus was always an expressionist, so he took to teaching Alexander words and phrases through acting them out. "Are you tired?" Magnus asked, pantomiming sleep. Alexander understood what sleeping was, he just didn't have a word for it. So he said no. He watched Magnus scribble things down on a piece of paper.

Magnus discovered that Alexander knew a lot of things. He knew how to eat, how to use the bathroom himself, and even how to perform everyday tasks. He just lacked the words to describe these actions. He wasn't mute, as he was quickly learning how to speak with Magnus, but it was like he just never learned a language. After three hours of talking with Magnus, Alexander began to fall asleep. Magnus took his notes with him to a different room and called Camille, his boss, and his right-hand man together to go over what he had gathered.

They sat around a table, Camille sitting as far away as possible from Magnus, and the other two men on either side of him. "So, what news do you have on our mystery?" His friend, Ragnor, asked. 

"It's odd," Magnus began. "He knew everything there was to know about being a human, like how to eat and go to the bathroom and all of that, but he just didn't speak any language."

"None at all?" Ragnor asked. Ragnor still spoke in an accented voice, one that would have been classified as British, though accents were hard to come by those days. 

"I tried speaking all the old languages, just in case. I tried Spanish, Mandarin, Italian, French, all of the ones that have been wiped out in recent years, and nothing." Magnus explained. He had been quite the study, before the war. "But he understood. Once he had the word to describe what he wanted, he was all set to go." 

"Did you find out how he survived the fall?" Camille asked, cutting through his excitement.

Magnus faltered. "Well, ah, I may have been too busy with teaching him the basics of English to ask about that." He admitted. 

"Great, Magnus." Camille sighed. "He knows how to shit now, but we still don't know if he's a threat or even completely human!"

"That's enough, Doctor." Magnus's boss interrupted. "There's time."

"But what if he's dangerous?" Camille proposed to the table. "What if he's a weapon sent from somewhere to destroy us."

"Then he would have destroyed us by now," Ragnor sighed. He wasn't a fan of Camille, not after what she did to Magnus. "You're always the pessimist. Maybe he's come to save us all."

Camille pushed back from the table with a huff. "Look, all I know is that something is different in that man. Whether it's good or bad doesn't really matter, my job is just to find out what it is." And with that she left the room, probably to go analyze the blood samples again.

"He's asleep right now." Magnus let the other two men know. "But I'll talk with him more once he wakes up again."


	3. Chapter 3

Alexander was having a dream. When he was asleep his unconscious understood that he was communicating with his home, a message that failed to transmit to his waking hours. During this time, he was able to speak with an old friend, Johnathan, who was helping him patch together his language skills. "I'm not sure I like these humans," Alexander admitted. 

Johnathan chuckled. "Hey, you volunteered to go down there."

"I know," Alexander sighed. "Some of them seem nice, though."

"Good. Focus on them."

Their conversation was being had in the hums that hurt Alexander's head when he was awake. In the dream, however, it was a perfectly understandable language. "When you wake again," Johnathan said. "You'll speak fluently with the humans. You will tell them that it was an amnesia of sorts."

"They are trying to figure out how I survived the fall." Alexander said.

"Tell them you don't remember falling." 

"Alright."

"Enough time has passed, you should wake up for the next Earth day now." Johnathan advised.

"Yes," Alexander was said to say goodbye to his brother. "Say hello to Isabelle for me."

"She is with you, as am I. I shall see you soon, brother." 

The dream began fading, and Alexander returned to his human body, his home repressed once more. 

Sunlight filtered in through a window that had never been opened before. Magnus never let light in when blinds were available, but hoped to help Alexander in any way possible. The sun was a friend. Alexander awoke, completely calm. Magnus was there, writing more on his paper. "Hello," Alexander greeted.

Magnus looked over and smiled. "Hello, Alexander." Then continued scratching away with his pen that seemed to be running out of ink.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me yesterday. I can't seem to understand why I couldn't talk." 

Hearing Alexander speak so fluently and elegantly caused Magnus to whip his head back up, eyes wide and mouth stretched into a smile. "It wasn't a problem at all." Magnus said. "So you can speak fully with me?"

Alexander nodded. "It must have been amnesia." Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard a chuckling. 

"Well, you're talking now and that's all that matters." Magnus said happily. "Do you think you'd be able to tell me about the fall?"

This confused Alexander. "What fall?"

"You fell, Alexander." Magnus said gently. "You fell from a very high place and you're completely fine."  
"I don't remember falling." Alexander insisted, shaking his head. 

This upset Magnus, and Alexander didn't like to see him frown. But he didn't know what else to do. He felt like there was something else to say, right on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't piece together exactly what it was. Maybe it was a side effect of the amnesia. "Well, I don't think you need to be strapped down anymore." Magnus eventually said, bouncing to his feet and walking toward Alexander.

It was true that after everything yesterday they must have strapped him back down, just in case. "Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" Alexander asked.

"I don't think that at all," Magnus shook his head, untying some of the straps. "But other people here are more scared than I am when they don't know something." 

Alexander tilted his head to the side. "You're not afraid?"

"You haven't given me a reason to be afraid." Magnus smiled.

Alexander wanted to return the smile, but he felt like telling Magnus that he had every reason to be afraid of him. He just couldn't remember why.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
The next tests that came were physical ones. Camille demanded that Alexander's strength be assessed. Alexander decided that he didn't like Camille very much. He ran for them until they told him to stop, did push-ups and crunches until the counter got tired of counting, and lifted weights that became progressively heavier until the heaviest weight was lifted. Doctors gawked at Alexander's display of strength, while Camille just clicked her pen and said, "I knew there was something." 

Magnus had told Alexander that Camille thought he couldn't speak, so he kept it that way to avoid conversing with her. Whenever she'd try Alexander would pull his eyebrows together in an attempt to look confused and say Magnus's name. Eventually, Camille stopped talking to him directly. 

"I hear you have super-strength." Magnus said later that day.

"I suppose," Alexander sighed, feeling only slightly sore from the activities. "Why does it matter?"

"We're trying to figure out what you are." Magnus told him, straining to keep the joking tone of his voice even.

"I'm a human," Alexander insisted, though the words sounded false to his own ears.

"Well, no human could survive the fall you survived. None of our soldiers have the strength you do, not even me."

Alexander raised an eyebrow. "What, are you a special soldier?"

Magnus chuckled. "I'd like to think that I'm the best they've got." 

"Then why aren't you on the field?" Alexander asked. After the question was out in the air, he saw the way Magnus tensed and turned away. He quickly changed the topic.

"How about a nickname for you." Magnus began. "Alexander is an awfully formal name."

"I like my name," Alexander pouted.

Magnus threw him a wink. "I like it, too." He assured him. "But how about something more common, quicker to say. Then when it's just you and me you can be Alexander." The truth was, Magnus had no intention of ever opening up to anyone about why he wasn't on the field anymore, or his past in general.  

"Okay," Alexander said.

"Well, _Alex_ ," Magnus tried. He scrunched up his nose, not liking that nickname. " _Alec._ " He corrected himself, like Alexander already had an established nickname that Magnus was screwing up. "Tell me, Alec. Do you remember your last name?"

Alec paused to think. He tried listening in to that hum that seemed to give him information, but there was nothing. Radio silence. "No, I-I don't remember anything about myself." 

Magnus frowned but said, "That's what I figured." He perked up. "No worries! We're still trying to piece everything together." 

Alec wanted to tell Magnus that he wasn't dangerous or he at least wasn't different, but he didn't quite believe that himself. He felt like he was a lab rat, constantly being poked and prodded for answers. How many times had Magnus already told him that they were still 'piecing things together'? "How long do I have to stay here?" He asked Magnus.

"As long as it takes for us to figure you out." Magnus told him. Alec didn't like the answer. Sure, he appreciated Magnus and his kindness, but the facility he was in was too small and controlling. He had an indescribable urge to go outside, to do something, he just couldn't think of what. He needed to leave, there was no other option than leaving. "So, I'm a prisoner?"

Magnus paused his writing and looked up, concerned expression on his face. "No, of course not." He frowned. "Why, do you feel as though we're treating you like one?"

"Well," Alec shrugged. "You didn't ask me if I wanted to stay." 

"I'm sorry, Alec." Magnus shook his head. "But we can't let you go, not until we figure out everything about you. There's a war going on."

_War._ The word sparked something in Alec, made him sit up in the bed, heart hammering. Magnus still looked concerned, and was sitting on the edge of his seat in case he needed to call for back up. "So I am a prisoner." Alec finally said. 

"If that's how you want to look at it," Magnus said sadly. "But I'm not treating you like a prisoner at all."

"You said I can't leave," Alec argued.

"Right."

Alec felt angry. Not necessarily at Magnus, but angry nonetheless. So he spun around so his feet could hit the floor and he stood. Magnus stood as well, tense.

"What if I just leave anyway?"

"I can't let that happen." Magnus said, and Alec could tell that his apologetic voice was sincere.

"You can't stop me," Alec said, knowing that the words were true. He felt something building in him. His hands were shaking and every nerve in his body was on fire.

That was enough for Magnus. He didn't want to have Alec feeling like a prisoner, but this mood swing was abrupt and concerning. Stealthily, Magnus pressed the button on the table that signaled for backup, and set to stalling. "What are you going to do?" He asked Alec, who looked poised to attack.

"I don't want to hurt you," Alec responded. "My job isn't to hurt humans." Alec felt as though it wasn't really him speaking, like something or someone else was taking over his body.

"Then what's your job?" Magnus asked decisively. 

"I... I have to- to stop-" But before Alec could create a complete sentence, the hum started up in the back of his mind. It was like being yelled at by a thousand voices at once, all blurring together in one mass noise. 

He heard Magnus asking, "What do you have to stop?" But he couldn't answer, the noise was too much and he could only grab at his head as if he were trying to pull the hum out with his hands. Alec had begun yelling back at the noise, jumping and spinning around to try and shake it out of his head. His hands were still shaking, the door burst open and a line of soldiers marched in, shields raised and guns ready. 

"Hold," Magnus told them, and they all obeyed his command. 

The humming had stopped, only because everything erupted inside of Alec. He raised his hands and light shot out of them, the soldiers in front of him knocked down, unconscious. The power kept coming out of his palms, he didn't know how to shut it off. It felt like pure heat, something beyond comprehension.

Magnus had knelt beneath his desk, skin feeling singed from mere proximity. When it faded, he crawled out from under the table and looked at Alec, eyes wide and mouth agape. "What are you?" He couldn't help but asking.

Alec was staring wide-eyed at his hands. They had stopped shaking, and he no longer felt out of control. "I-" He couldn't come up with a response. He wanted to apologize to Magnus, but Magnus was turning away from him. As he slipped out of the door, he broke into a run. Alec considered following him, but knew it would be pointless. An alarm started going off, a red light flashing and flooding the room in color. 

The next thing Alec knew, he was locked away behind bars-- now he was really a prisoner.


	4. The Age of Information

Magnus survived for so long on his golden rule: don't risk your life unnecessarily. Watching Alec shoot some sort of energy out of his hands had put Magnus into survival mode. He ran, even though he knew he was the only one Alec would communicate with. When Alec did whatever he did, Magnus could tell he was purposely avoiding him. He didn't think that the soldiers were killed, just knocked out. Either way, Magnus went ahead and pulled that alarm, sectioning Alec off until he could be relocated to a secure holding cell. 

Magnus felt as though he betrayed Alec's trust. He was only doing his job, as always. It had gotten him far in life- he was still alive, after all. But at what cost? Alec seemed more responsive to friendliness than force, so Magnus was worried that the boy would no longer talk to him. 

"I need to see him." Magnus told Ragnor one morning. Ragnor was older than Magnus, but only by a few years. 

"You know you're not allowed to." Ragnor sighed. He wanted just one morning where he could drink his coffee uninterrupted. "He's in quarantine."

"Yes," Magnus groaned. "But you've always been close with that female guard, you know, the blonde-"

"Magnus, no." Ragnor cut him off. "Just let the professionals take over now."

"I am the professional!" Magnus argued. "It is my job to handle otherworldly things, and that's what Alec- Alexander is!"

"We don't know that for sure," Ragnor shrugged. At that point in his life, Ragnor was quite used to Magnus's outbursts.

"He shot fucking energy out of his hands like something out of a comic book." Magnus deadpanned. "You're telling me that's human?"

"Maybe the radioactivity has been spilling faster than we calculated." Ragnor suggested.

Magnus wrinkled up his nose. "Impossible, those numbers have been calculated day in and day out by the smart guys."

Ragnor raised an eyebrow, looking at his friend from over the rim of his coffee mug. "Why do you want to see this man so badly?"

"Because in the five years that I've held this title, I've never actually gotten to interact with something that wasn't human." 

"What about all of your cats?"

"You know what I meant." Magnus sighed, taking a seat. He then decided against it and stood up to pace. 

Ragnor studied Magnus. They had known each other for close to ten years; they had fought together on the battle field. A part of Ragnor always felt like Magnus was the younger brother he never had, and hated to see him torn up over the ordeal. He sighed. "Look, maybe I can talk with the guards and-"

Magnus whipped around and threw his arms around Ragnor, position since he was standing and Ragnor was still sitting. "You're the best, Ragnor." He smiled.

"Yes, I know." He shrugged Magnus off lovingly. "Now please let me finish my drink in peace."

"No promises," Magnus winked as he walked out of the room, stomach buzzing with excitement. 

Back in his office, Magnus felt worry set in again. He hoped that Alec would talk to him. He had been trying to think of any type of plan that could help the strange man not become a lab rat to all of the curious scientists that had lost their sanity to the War. Magnus made his way from his office to the outside of the quarantine section. "You're not allowed in, Bane." The familiar voice of Camille said from behind him.

"I know," Magnus snapped. "I'm just doing my job."

Camille knew all about Magnus's past, about all of the lives he took to save his own. She didn't think he was evil for that, all soldiers killed to survive. In fact, when she had first met him she had been impressed with his skills. Over time, though, she grew impatient with him. The War left Magnus- like many other fighters- permanently scarred, and Camille didn't have a heart big enough to love somebody that was broken, or at least damaged. "Last I checked, your job didn't provide you clearance into the Quarantine."

Magnus spun around to face her. He could never manage to look her in the eye, but that time he came close. "Have you managed to get him to speak again?"

Camille's nostrils flared in annoyance. "No."

Magnus smirked. "Then it looks like I'm not the only one here that can't seem to do their job." He brushed past her. Magnus never understood why his title didn't allow him access into the restricted areas. After all, wasn't he supposed to deal with the test subjects? Not that Alec was a test subject, he reminded himself. Magnus knew that if Alec had just been a normal guy he saw on the street, how would try his damnedest to sleep with him.

As soon as Magnus laid eyes on Alec, he was blown away. He didn't think he ever saw a human that looked so perfect, to the point that it was almost not human at all. Magnus also knew that he wasn't the only one that was drawn to Alec, which only made him want to see the other man more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec knew that he couldn't hurt other people. He didn't know how he knew, it was just a feeling. He figured he could blow the captive bars of the cell away with whatever powers he seemed to possess, but he didn't know what he would do after that. Inevitably, guards would come and then he would be forced to hurt more people. So, he sat in the corner of the room and faced away from the opening.   
He longed to see a familiar face; every day, a different scientist or a different doctor would show up, but there was never consistency. Alec missed Magnus, despite everything. When he slept, Alec saw his brothers and sisters that he left behind to help the humans, and each time he woke up again, a tiny message was left in the back of his mind, like a puzzle slowly being pieced together. "I don't know what I'd do after I get out of the room," Alec told his brother, Johnathan.

"Alexander, you're an angel." Johnathan said. "Break out and then fly away."

"I have a human body, on Earth." Alec reminded him.

"Normal human bodies can't shoot our energies out of them, now can they." Johnathan teased. "Trust me. When the times come, your instincts will take over. Our instincts are much stronger than those of the humans."

After that conversation, Alec woke up with a particular urge to finally blow up the prison and escape. He didn't know how he would escape, but he knew he had to. So, he stood and faced the metal bars. He felt his hands start to shake, and understand that it was simply power building inside of him. When Alec raised his palms and let the energy out, it was different than what he had originally used against those guards-- it actually melted the metal right in it's place.   
Alec wasted little time admiring his work. Part of him wanted to rush and find Magnus, but he knew he did not have that kind of time. _How do I leave?_ Alec wondered, beginning to feel a buzz of panic in his stomach. At the end of the long hall, a guard spotted him. "Hey!" She shouted, and began running toward Alec, who was still frozen. _Fly,_ the voice in his head commanded him. He didn't think after that, he didn't have to. He saw wings unfurl on either side of him, long enough that they stretched nearly to the ends of the hall. Instinctively, Alec flew. He didn't know how else to describe it, because humans weren't supposed to be able to fly. As he took off, one final glance down the hall where the guard had been revealed a wide-eyed Magnus standing there as well.

Alec almost paused when he saw the man, but his momentum kept him going. He shot into the clouds, one swish of his wings blasting him away. His heart was hammering wildly in his chest, and once he was felt like he was far enough away from the building, he paused. Then, Alec realized he was flying in the air and laughed wildly, swooping and soaring like he had been doing it his whole life. 

In the middle of his fun, the hum began to pick up in his head. Alec groaned out loud, covering his ears as if to block the noise out despite it being internal. He saw faces flash in his mind, people that seemed familiar yet he knew that he had not seen them in that facility. There was a smiling, blond-haired boy, a girl with dark black hair and shining eyes, a petite red-head girl with a bubbly laugh that sounded musical, all followed by what looked like home to Alec. At least, when he saw the images all he could think of was home. 

Strangely, he then thought of Magnus, and the blond boy was saying, _"Stick with the good ones."_

"I can't go back there." Alec responded out loud.

_"You don't have to,"_ He was told. _"He'll go out looking for you, go to him then."_ Then the humming, the images, everything faded until Alec was left alone, wondering if he was going crazy.


	5. Chapter 5

Magnus had been walking away when he heard a loud crash-- as if the whole building were falling down. He turned and saw people running toward the Quarantine, so he headed there too. What he saw was Alexander, out of his cell and staring up at a large hole in the ceiling. "Did he do that?" A voice asked. Magnus then saw wings grow out of Alec, like they had been invisible before. They stretched to fill the hall, and with one push he was hurled into the sky and out of sight. 

"And that, my colleagues," Magnus began. "Is why you don't try to do my job for me." 

Magnus felt angry. Perhaps now everyone would back off so he could help Alec with whatever it is he needed, and then he could find out what exactly Alec was. There was murmuring, and people were running towards the gaping hole to try and see Alec, but Magnus knew he was gone. The sinking feeling in stomach told him so. 

He turned and saw Ragnor. "Don't need your help anymore," He said in attempt to make light of the situation, but it just came out bitter and angry. Magnus stormed through the facility, tired of its white walls and white curtains, and whiteboards, and whitewhitewhite _white everything,_ he needed to get out. "I understand, Alexander." He muttered aloud, though Alec was miles away by then. He took some comfort in talking to nothing, it was like Alec could still hear him. At least, Magnus thought it would be pretty cool if he could. 

"Magnus, you can't just _leave,"_ A voice called after him. It was Ragnor, who had followed his friend. "There's a damn war."

"That has never stopped me before." Magnus shrugged, turning the final corner to the exit. He heard Ragnor sigh, but he knew that his friend wouldn't follow him outside. There was truth behind his words, if Magnus left the facility there was nothing stopping a bullet from flying into his skull. 

He scanned his I.D. card at the door anyway, and it opened with a mechanical release of air. 

Outside was a wreck, and though Magnus hated to see it, he had become almost desensitized to it. There was dirt and sand everywhere, and the sky was perpetually gray from smoke and ash. Magnus hesitated at his car. Gas was a luxury that he could only afford for missions, and the last thing he needed was to lose the one piece of his job that actually gave him freedom. So he started walking. It wasn't necessarily the safest option, but it definitely gave him space to clear his head.

As with any war, there were boundaries that had been clearly established for fighting. That didn't stop the enemy from randomly attacking, but the facility Magnus was at was located pretty far off the grid. Despite this, worry still bugged Magnus and he had a hard time blocking out memories from his time on the field. 

After wondering for what his watch reported to be an hour, Magnus found a tree. It was rare to find one, especially among all the dirt and debris, so Magnus took a grateful break under its shade. He didn't know what else to do, so he started talking to Alec again. "Alexander," He called, though quietly, just in case any nearby ears could pick up on his noise. "If you can just come back for a little bit, I can arrange things so you won't be locked up. We need you here-- I need you to come back. Please."

His words dissolved into the stale air. Nothing happened for a few moments, and as Magnus sat he began to feel stupid for talking to nothing. Then the wind started to pick up and with a great gust, Alexander appeared before him.


	6. Chapter 6

Magnus scrambled to his feet, eyes wide. Alec looked calm, like he hadn't just appeared out of nowhere. "Alec?" Magnus asked, afraid that he was hallucinating.

"You called?" Alec responded, head tilting to the side and eyes examining. 

Magnus sputtered. "You- you actually _heard_ me?" 

"Well," Alec began, although he didn't have a sound explanation for how or why he showed up. "Yes." Was all he managed. 

"So, you have super strength, do you have super hearing too?"

"No, that's ridiculous Magnus." Alec said, though there was a small smile on his face. He was happy to see the other man again. 

Magnus shook his head, momentarily worrying about his sanity. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened back at the Facility." He began. "When I sounded that alarm, it was pure instinct. I hated knowing that I got you locked up."

"That's alright," Alec nodded, and his reply was genuine. "I understand that I must have scared you."

"Well, yeah." Magnus sighed, combing a hand through his hair. "But, Alec, I need your help. You said you came here to help humans, so you can't just leave."

Alec narrowed his eyes. "I also can't help from inside a prison cell."

"That's not what I'm saying!" Magnus quickly promised. "I'm saying-- Alec, there are bad people out there that could find you and completely destroy Earth." He paused for emphasis. "If I could manage to set you up in your own station, would you be willing to stay with us and help?"

"Will I be free to come and go as I please?"

"Well," Magnus started. "It's not exactly safe out here. But yes, you can leave the room whenever you want."

Alec thought for a moment, weighing his options. He knew he had some sort of mission to complete, and going off on his own meant having no help in said mission; he would have to start all over. He was also fearful of Magnus's people and what they would do to him if he returned. Magnus could sense his hesitancy, so he offered a gentle smile. "If you want, I will be the only one from the Facility to work with you. Of course, I will report back to my friends, but it will only be you and I."

The offer made Alec smile. "Where would my station be located?"

"I could possibly arrange to have you stay in my home. I'm never there because of work, but it is close to the Facility." Magnus said.

Alec nodded. "That sounds great," He said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There is no way in hell that man is staying unsupervised near this military base." Camille said as soon as Magnus explained the idea.

"Well, how else do you suppose we get him to stay?" Magnus asked. He had radioed in to arrange a meeting outside of the Facility. He, Alec, Camille, Ragnor, and his boss all sat around a wooden table in Magnus's house, a place that hadn't seen visitors in years. "There is nothing stopping him from going to them." Alec couldn't help but wonder who "them" stood for, but he didn't say anything.

"Which is exactly why he should stay in the Facility!" Camille argued.

Alec could sense that there was some sort of history between Camille and Magnus, and that made his stomach twist in a way that felt like being sick.

"Keeping him there will only make him mad." Magnus replied.

"You saw what happened." Ragnor spoke up. He wasn't necessarily thrilled that he had been pulled outside for the commotion.

"We have the Restricted Unit."

"Absolutely not." Magnus frowned, angry that Camille could even think about sending Alec to the place where the worst of all criminals went. "He'll live here, under my watch."

"You haven't stayed a night in your own home in years." Camille said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'll start." Magnus shrugged. "Won't be that hard. Maybe then I can actually do my job."

His boss finally cut in. "It's settled then." He pushed away from the table, eager to get out of the tense house. "Sorry, Doctor. Magnus is right on this one."

Camille looked like she hadn't expected anyone to defy her. "This is insane." She hissed, jumping up from the table. "That thing sitting there is  _not_ human, he could kill us all! You just want to let him roam free?"

Alec felt appalled, but Magnus spoke up. "He's here to help. He only got violent because he was defending himself."

Camille bit her cheek, face red with anger. After what felt like years, she relented. "All reports go straight to my lab. The moment anything unusual comes up or he becomes unstable, he gets locked up." Magnus didn't want to agree to that deal, but Ragnor and his boss beat him to it. 

"Okay, Camille. That's enough. It's all sorted now." Ragnor said. He stood, but in a more calm fashion than the two before him. "Do you have anything you'd like to say, Alec?"

Alec didn't like having all eyes on him. He felt Magnus's hand on his, gentle and reassuring. He swallowed nervously, clinging to the hand as though it gave him the power to speak. "I'm here to help. As long as I know I'm helping the right people, I won't be a problem."

Everyone seemed satisfied with his answer, and began to leave. However, a heavy feeling started filling Magnus's chest. What made them the right people? How could he possibly know what Alec viewed as right and wrong? Magnus had a feeling that sharing his home with the stranger would bring with it more than he originally imagined, and he knew that he would have a lot of work to catch up on in the coming days.

 


	7. The Other Side

After the house cleared out, Magnus busied himself with cleaning up the cups that hadn't been touched by the awkward guests. "I'm curious," Alec began from somewhere behind Magnus, who didn't dare turn to look. "Why have you offered your home to me?"

"Because," Magnus shrugged. "We're fighting bad people, and it's my job to make sure you don't fall into their hands. If you won't stay at the Facility, then it would be easiest to have you stay here."  
The answer intrigued Alec. He wondered what made the other guys the _bad_ guys. "Why should I stay and help your side of the war?"

Magnus paused in his dish washing. The question scared him a little, was Alec considering going to the other side? He looked at Alec, who didn't reveal any emotion aside from pure curiosity. "I'm guessing you have no idea what this War is about?"

Alec shook his head.

"Alexander," Magnus spun completely around and guided Alec out of the kitchen and to the living room, where they could sit on a couch. Once seated, Magnus cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm going to be honest with you, I think you'll appreciate that more." He took a deep breath, preparing himself to reflect back on the past years. "This War started ten years ago. Back then, I was too young to join. After three years of fighting, I enlisted. The War was advertised to me as a 'Fight For Humanity', meaning there were people out there who wanted to end the world."

Magnus paused, palms sweating. Alec's face was intensely focused on Magnus, soaking up every word. 

"The War started because of a few angry people and now... now I wouldn't be able to tell you why we're all still fighting. I've stopped asking. You don't survive times like these by asking questions."

"So, you don't know what you're fighting for?" Alec asked, disappointment dripping from his voice.

Magnus frowned. "Nobody does anymore."

Alec pushed himself up from the couch, a little angry. "I'm not here to play guessing games!" He explained. Magnus flinched, mind still stuck in the past. "This war needs to end, I need to end it or everyone dies!"

Magnus couldn't think of a reply. Alec turned on him. "For all I know, my time has been wasted here."

"We're not the bad guys, Alec."

"You don't know what you're even fighting for! How can you know that you're not wrong?"

"Because wars don't start over nothing," Magnus snapped. "There was a reason, and the reason for it still happening is that the other guys don't want to quit. As long as they don't, we don't."

Alec sighed. "If you know so much about the War, why are you not fighting now?"

Magnus looked down at his shoes, black and polished. He always kept them polished. "I've done my share of fighting."

"You're awfully young to be a veteran." Alec prodded, trying to draw more information out of Magnus.

"I've done more than some of the fifty-year-old men out in the fields have." Magnus said. "I wouldn't go back unless they forced me." The next time Magnus blinked, the image of blood and dead eyes flashed in his mind. Magnus had been responsible for a lot of deaths, back when he knew why the battles were happening. In those years, it felt manageable. Take a life to protect your own. Magnus was haunted by that ideology, petrified of the war zones outside of the Facilities. He stood to be level with Alec, despite being a few inches shorter than the man. 

"All I know," He said as he walked towards Alec. "Is that, if you can end this War, then I hope to God you never leave our side. Their ending means the end of the world. Ours- well, ours could be a new beginning."

Alec searched Magnus eyes, his face, anything that could reveal signs of lies or desperation. There was urgency in his voice and eyes, his mouth a straight pleading line and nostrils a flared worry. Slowly, Alec nodded. "I'm here to help you, then."

Magnus let out a breath. "Thank you." He whispered. With that established and finalized, Magnus took to changing the topic. "So, how about I show you around the house?" He gestured to the room they were standing in. "Living room," He nodded towards the kitchen and then showed Alec where he kept the plates and cups and food. Then he walked down a short hall and showed Alec the bathroom, and finally the bedroom. "I only have one bedroom." Magnus said. "But I never sleep here, so it's all yours." 

"Why don't you stay in your house?"

"I like keeping myself busy." Magnus simply replied. The truth was that his dreams were too violent for him to handle, so he preferred to work himself into a dreamless stupor. Alec looked around the room and finally came to pause beside Magnus, the two leaning up against a wall. "Thank you, Magnus." Alec eventually said.

"Yeah," Magnus nodded. "I have to get back to the Facility. Here," He handed Alec a cellphone, one of the backups that the Facility kept for emergency communications. "If you need anything, you can press that green talk button and you'll connect with me." He explained, pointing toward the right things.   
Magnus started leaving, but Alec stopped him. "Magnus, if you need _me_ , you know all you have to do is ask for me, right?"

Magnus thought back to under the tree, how he had thought he had lost Alec to the War, how the wind brought him back. Magnus smiled at Alec. "I know, Alexander." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooo bonding
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> i hate myself and school and everything


	8. Chapter 8

When Magnus left, Alec started to examine the house. There were no pictures, nothing that symbolized a personal connection to the home. It was as if Magnus was ready to pack up and go at a moments notice. That, or he simply didn't have any desire to personalize his home. After all, he was never there. Alec found clothes, and that was it. There was a TV, but Alec didn't know how to make it work. After pressing a few buttons, it sprung to life, noise and color filling the room.

On the screen, a person was rapidly talking into a microphone. She was dressed in a fancy suit, and words were scrolling under her at an alarming rate. "One bomb dropped-" She would begin, pause, then continue with, "Sorry, two bombs dropped locally..." 

Alec had found the media. He sat down in front of the screen, probably too close to be healthy for his eyes, and listened to the woman spit out information. "Three battles have been lost today, two by the End and one by Us." Alec took these to be names. "Evacuations have been taking place all day for a new Zone that is being created in the coming hours."

The image flashed to people leaving a crowded city in a panicked rush. Alec straightened up, a part of his mind buzzing to go help, only he didn't know where that city was. He sat for hours watching the news but still not coming to a definitive answer to the question of why the War was being fought. There were obvious battles over territory, but the main message Alec was getting from the fast announcer was that it was a difference in beliefs that had sparked the fighting. _It's amazing what humans will do to be right._ He thought to himself. Then asked himself why he had thought like that; after all, he was a human too, right?

Right?

  
_No, you idiot._ A voice rang in his head, familiar from hours earlier. _You're an angel._  
 _I'm an angel?_ Alec asked back, feeling a little silly for replying.   
Images flashed in his head, pristine white spaces and glowing faces that were, well, angelic. Through this flood of memories, the pieces clicked together. _Johnathan,_ Alec eventually thought. _Right. Remembering is hard with a human brain. It's almost as though the organ doesn't want to remember what I am._

_We thought it would be better for you to blend seamlessly with the humans._ His brother replied. _Turns out that was taking too long. You have to find out what those humans are hiding._

Alec tried to picture Magnus lying to him, but couldn't even fathom the idea. _I don't think Magnus would lie to me._

_Then the other ones. Find the threat._

_Right_. Alec had to do digging of his own if nobody was going to give him answers. He stood, thanking his brother for the help. _Of course,_ Johnathan replied. _But I can't be here all the time. You know our energy is limited._

After saying goodbye, Alec focused back on the news and took notes, writing down questions to ask Magnus later. 

Magnus, however, didn't plan on going back to the house any time soon, unless Alec called him. He hated having the permanent home in a potential Zone. He was running up and down the halls of the Facility, checking in on patients and filling his time with the paperwork that was always piling up on his desk.   
A few hours later, there was a rapid knock on the door of his office. Ragnor burst in, followed by Camille. "Magnus," Ragnor began, breathing like he had run to find his friend. "You need to come with us."

"What's happened?"

"We've cracked their code, we can hear their radio transmissions." Ragnor wheezed. Magnus was out of his chair before the sentence was complete, sprinting down the halls to get to the communication center. Inside, only his boss and a few technicians were crowded around a table, listening in on a static-filled transmission. 

"Lewis," Magnus said, getting the attention of one of the younger radio boys. "How did you guys do it?"

"It was a pattern, words taking the place of other words but also mixed up with made-up words. Things that shouldn't have made sense."

"You cracked the Uncrackable Code." Magnus smiled. For a year, the enemy had been using a radio frequency that had been locked behind codes and other blockers that they couldn't get around, until then. When the transmission ended, the room was silent and the joy at having cracked the frequency and the code had vanished.

They now knew the enemy's plan, but it was worse than anything they had anticipated before. 


	9. Chapter 9

"Magnus, he's our weapon," Camille's shrill voice insisted. "Not a friend, not an innocent bystander. We need him to go out there."

News of the enemy's plans had spread throughout the Facility, and everyone had their own idea as to how to approach the problem. "We can't just send him to the field. We don't know what he's capable of." Magnus tried to argue. He knew Alec could ultimately help, but if he got shot or blown up, there would be no hope left. "He's not trained."

"He doesn't need training." A new voice chimed in. It was Simon Lewis, the kid that had helped crack the code. "If he's the guy shooting death-beams out of his hands then we don't need to teach him how to use a gun." 

Magnus sighed, worry prickling the back of his neck. "Why are you so against sending him to a battle, Magnus?" Ragnor asked.

"Because..." Magnus scrambled for any sort of excuse, but failed to come up with one. "It's just too risky." He ended up repeating. "I know what the battle field is like, and if Alec dies before we can use him, then we all die."

"He has a point," Ragnor nodded.

Camille rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You just have some weird crush on the guy who fell from the sky to save us." She taunted. "After seeing what he can do, I doubt a bullet could kill him."

"She also has a point." Ragnor said, though Magnus didn't want to ask his friend which part of Camille's sentence he was supporting.

Magnus didn't have a _crush_ on Alec. It was wartime, and after the disaster of trying to love Camille, Magnus wasn't apt to looking for anyone. The comment made his cheeks heat up nonetheless. "If you send him out to the field, to that main battle, then I'm going too." Magnus declared.

The room fell silent. Even Camille, who could never find it in her to truly care for Magnus, lifted an eyebrow with concern. "B-but you're Magnus Bane." Simon stammered out.

Magnus's eyes snapped to the kid. "Yes, I know my name. I've had it for twenty-six years." Simon looked away, embarrassed.

Ragnor spoke up. "Magnus, you can't possibly think you could go back out there."

"I've done it once." Shrugged Magnus. "Actually, about a million times. What's one more?" He threw a look to the ceiling, silently praying for a bolt of lightning to strike him down where he stood. When it didn't come, Magnus finished with, "This way, I can keep an eye on Alec myself."

With a half-hearted smile, Magnus turned to walk out of the room. "There's two days until the next deployment. I'll have Alexander ready by then." Magnus announced to whomever was still listening. Then, he walked out of the Facility and across the sand until he found his home. 

Hearing the doorknob jiggle and twist made Alec jump. He had been so caught up in the television that he had failed to even notice the passage of time. He felt restless, full of so many questions to ask and details to tell Magnus. 

When the other man walked into the living room, though, Alec instantly felt his heart drop. Magnus looked absolutely exhausted. The first time Alec had seen him, when he was laying in the hospital bed unable to talk, Magnus had been glowing with life and radiating energy. The Magnus standing before Alec then, however, seemed like the ghost of a man that was once alive. "What happened, Magnus?" Alec asked.

At the sound of Alec's voice, Magnus stirred to life. He couldn't bring himself to look the other boy in the eye, so instead he let his vision wonder over the bare walls of the standard room. "There's been some news." Magnus said, his voice void of any expression that it usually carried.

Alec felt sick. Humans always seemed to have news. 

"They want to put in the front lines." Magnus spit out, the words leaving his mouth angrily.

"As in, fight?" Alec asked. With a nod, Magnus looked at his shoes. "Alright. What's the problem with that?"

"You could get hurt, Alexander. What good are you to humanity if you're dead?" Magnus wondered aloud, the same question he had asked the others not an hour before.  There was only so much energy that Magnus had to put into the War. He thought he had spent it all. 

Alec wanted to assure Magnus that he could not be hurt by the weapons of mankind, but a faint warning played in his mind that telling the truth to Magnus would be too much for the other man to bear just then. "You're stressed." Alec picked up.

"Yeah, no kidding." Magnus sighed. "I never wanted to go back. I thought I was out entirely. As long as there's a war, I'm trapped."

Alec decided right then that nothing was more important than fighting however the army told him to, as long as it meant that Magnus could finally relax. He was surprised by the urge of feelings in his chest to protect Magnus, but Alec simply told himself that it was his job to protect humans, and Magnus, after all, was a human. "Then I guess I better do my job right." Alec tried to joke, but was only greeted with the sad eyes of a tired man.

"I brought a copy of the transmission we hacked." Magnus jumped to action, pulling a disc from his pocket and going to put it into a player. "This will explain the sudden urgency."

As the CD spun to life, the room filled with static. Intermittent voices would break through, and then suddenly it was as clear as day. "Go for two month plan, test has been completed." A male voice declared on one end of the line.

"Copy. Orders will be sent for more bombs." Replied a different voice 

"We know the line has bombs too, right?" A third voice interjected.

"Of course, the whole mission runs on that fact." The original voice snapped. "Gentlemen, welcome to _M.A.D."_

The transmission cut out then, and when Alec looked at Magnus he saw empty eyes and a heavy soul. "What is mad?" He asked.

"M-A-D, Alexander." Magnus spelled out. "Mutually Assured Destruction."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus had made tea. Alec couldn't understand how the man could be so calm in the face of the end of the world. "Magnus, we only have two months to figure out how to get those bombs-"

"We have  _two months."_ Magnus sighed. "Which means I'm done for tonight. Too much has happened, I'm tired."

Curious, Alec tilted his head to the side as though observing a specimen from a different angle. He wondered what exactly was plaguing Magnus, and in one move, Alec had his hand on Magnus's head. "What are you-" Magnus had begun to ask, but he was cut off by the strange occurrence of what felt like a hand reaching into his head. What Alec was doing was looking at Magnus's memories of the war. Alec saw blood, smelled blood, even tasted blood as the Magnus of the past had. Whatever Alec looked at, Magnus was forced to see as well, only he was paralyzed and could not run away from the memories. 

_"Ninety-three." Ragnor smiled. "You're really slicing down those bastards."_

_"It's not necessarily something to be proud of." Magnus grunted. "One-on-one combat is the worst."_

_"But you're a cool spy." Ragnor joked. "No wonder you landed Camille."_

Magnus had laughed along with Ragnor back then. It was significantly less funny with Alec being the one to see the memories as well. "You're infamous." Alec whispered, shuddering against the memories.

Magnus was so frozen that he couldn't even make a noise in response, he simply waited for Alec to be done his invasion. As soon as the hand left his skin, Magnus dashed away, breathing rapidly and sweating. "What the fuck did you do?"

"I just wanted to see why you are so tired all of the time."

"So you decided to just _look into my mind?"_ Magnus asked, voice rising in sound level.

"I-I didn't think you would be so upset-"

"Those are my personal memories, Alec!" Magnus shouted. "What I did back then, what I saw, I never wanted to see that again, and you just sat me down in front of a projector and taped my eyes open while the film played!"

"I can help." Alec said.

"Fuck you!" Magnus screeched. He was more panicked than angry, and everything was going wrong. He was sobbing, out of control. In two days he would be back doing what made him hate himself, and the thought hit him with enough force to knock the air out of his lungs. He crumpled in on himself and Alec rushed to his side, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"Let me help with your pain." He offered.

"Don't touch me," Magnus tried to insist, but his voice was weak and his sobs were too great. 

"This War has hurt you," Alec said, beginning to send energy into Magnus. It was cleansing energy, giving Magnus the strength he needed to at least make it through the night. "The War has damaged you." When Magnus was finally able to look at Alec, he felt like a tiny bug being looked at by a God. "I promise you, Magnus. I will help you. I will help everyone."

The promise was as sincere as always, if not more so, but the words were beginning to grow dull to Magnus's ears. Instead of fighting more, he simply clung to Alec like his life depended on it. "What are you?" He asked, afraid of the answer.

"I'm here for you. That's all." Alec replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments I really appreciate them :) 
> 
> also I swear I have the plot figured out just bear with me while I get it all pieced together, it works


	10. Chapter 10

The two days had passed in a blur. Magnus hardly left his office at the Facility unless Alec called for him. He wouldn't answer the door for anyone. Camille angrily knocked demanding for vaccine administrations to which Magnus told her to stick the needles where the sun doesn't shine. Ragnor tried to talk with him but Magnus said that he didn't want to drag his friend back into the ordeal. Even the tech monitor, Simon Lewis, tried to cheer up Magnus, but nothing worked. 

When the morning came to drive out with some other recruits, Magnus couldn't stop his hands from shaking. He ignored it as best as possible, pulling out his old uniform from the very back of his closet and brushing the dust off. He paused to examine the clothes, remembering what he had seen the last time he wore the outfit.  
The door to his bedroom opened up, breaking Magnus from his trance. He flinched and threw the uniform down, the creased fabric landing in a heap on his bed. It was only Alec, who looked more worried about Magnus than about going off to war. "Magnus," He said, looking between the man and the clothes on the mattress.

"Hi, Alexander." Magnus breathed. "That's just my old uniform, I'm sure they'll give us the new outfits on the way over."

"I wasn't worried about that." Alec smiled. He hadn't been able to get Magnus to look at him directly ever since he looked at his memories. "I just came to tell you that your boss said it was time to go."

Magnus and Alec left the house and entered a huge gray van. Magnus's car sat lonely in the driveway, battery dead from lack of use. In the van sat twenty young people, an even mix of men and women who all stared at Magnus as though he was a mythical creature. A few girls admired Alec, who simply stayed as close to Magnus as possible. They sat where there was space, on the floor near the doors, backs resting against the warm metal. Nobody spoke.

Silently, Magnus slid his hand toward Alec's, keeping the move as hidden from the others as possible. Magnus knew that once he was back on the field, he had to be unbreakable. Alec squeezed Magnus's hand, looking at him and not caring if his gaze was revealing. Magnus stared straight ahead, swallowing nervously as the eyes continued to watch him. 

The vehicle rattled along, bouncing over dirt and potholes as none of the soldiers talked. As suddenly as it had started, it slammed to a halt. The engine died down, and then the doors were flung open. "Alright, soldiers!" A female voice yelled. She was red-headed and petite, but her voice was commanding. Magnus recognized her, but couldn't quite remember her name. "No time for chatting. Line up to receive your uniforms and packs. Sorry for the informality, but there's a war to be fought." 

As everyone shuffled to get in line, Magnus felt a fog come over him. He didn't think about the outside world, and he dropped Alec's hand. He heard the red-head call his name and he stepped over to her, ignoring the lost look coming from Alec. "Bane." The girl greeted him with a soft smile. "It's been a while." 

Magnus remembered then, the girl's name was Clarissa Fairchild, and she was much younger than him and fighting with much more passion than he could ever muster. "yes," Magnus smiled. "It has." They hugged, both relieved to see familiar faces on the field, despite the circumstances. 

Magnus took a uniform from a random medic, and then was delivered a heavy pack full of supplies that he might need. Finally, they gave him a gun. The object felt foreign and cold, yet familiar and electric at the same time. He slung it over his shoulder, not excited to fire it. "No special missions for you this time?" Clarissa asked him. Everyone knew how he had earned his title and reputation. 

"I'm just here as part of a deal, Biscuit." Magnus told her with a wink, using an old nickname to soften the conversation.

"Must be one hell of a deal to get you back out here." She said, moving to address the crowd of soldiers. Magnus found Alec, who was staring at the gun in his hands with a look of pure confusion. Magnus's heart softened a little bit, but then he shook himself back to focus.

Clarissa began speaking and all other conversations ended. "Alright boys and girls," She called. "Welcome to the Zone. You're no longer in training, and the bombs that may explode today are very real, and death is very possible. It's not a game, so follow my plans and directions and you might leave this battle with all of your limbs still on your body."

A shiver ran through the crowed (except for Magnus, who simply smirked.) 

They began marching, following a pre-established route that _most likely_ wasn't filled with bombs or ambush groups. Magnus walked next to Alec, keeping one hand on near the other man's at all times, nearly touching. There was little chatter throughout the ranks. "How are you?" Alec asked as they crouched to drink or tie shoes. 

"I've been better." Magnus told him.

Alec frowned, not as joking as Clarissa. "Not to sound impatient or... eager, or anything like that," Alec whispered. "But are we actually going to fight any time soon?"  
Magnus flicked his eyes up from the dirt to Alec's face, the first time since two nights ago. "We have to get to the fight first." He said. "It'll happen sooner than you think--" There was a blast, and a whirl of bullets flew by the group. "Guess we're here." Magnus said, hitting the ground and pulling Alec with him. "We have to get to cover." He instructed, feeling strangely calm. There was shouting from Clarissa and yelling from a boy who got hit, but Magnus crawled his way to a fairly tall pile of dirt that could serve as cover.

Somewhere along the way, Alec had stopped following him. "Alec!" Magnus called.

"If they're shooting from that way," Alec said, "That means the bombs are that way."

"Alec, there's a plan, you can't just go off by yourself!" Magnus tried to tell him, but Alec was walking away. "Alec!"

There was a loud bang, and Magnus was tossed on his side by a bomb that was a few yards away. The air was knocked from his lungs and his ears were ringing, but he scrambled to gain control of his body and find Alec. There was a figure pointing a gun in Alec's direction, and Magnus fired without thinking twice, not watching to see the figure crumple. 

Magnus was never distracted on the field. That was his only other rule: don't look away when there's a gun pointed at you. And with about a million guns pointed at him on the other side, Magnus was always careful never to break his focus.

But then Alec actually got shot. 

Of course, when it happened, Alec didn't even notice. The measly bullet couldn't kill him, that was impossible. He fell back from the force, but he didn't even feel pain. But Magnus saw him get knocked down and everything became too blurry for him to notice when Alec got right back up again. In that time, another bomb had been thrown and Magnus didn't get out of the way. He was blown out from behind the coverage completely. That time, there was no disorientation or ringing, just blackness that overtook the world.


	11. And Then

"Magnus," Alec had burst into the medical room, crossing to where Magnus laid, bloody and torn. "I came as soon as I heard you arrived." On the field, Alec had continued on his path. Bullets had flown into him, all barely scratching the surface. At some point, he had used his powers to create a shield of sorts, to charge through the soldiers, blasting them away with his energy. Before he could get answers, the enemy's commander demanded that they fall back, and they all started running away from Alec. Clarissa had rushed up to him once the field cleared, breathless and eyes wide. "They said you were a weapon," She panted. "I didn't believe it." Then she filled Alec in on what was going to happen to the injured, Magnus being one of them. 

"Alexander," Magnus, who was doped up, smiled crazily. "I'm so happy to see you." He reached out and cupped Alec's cheek with his hand. Alec wasted no time. 

"What happened?"

"There was a bomb and--" Magnus paused, laughed, "Then, _kaboom."_ He threw his hands up, reenacting the plume of dust that had been created by the bomb. Always the dramatic. "I think I still have all my parts. They drugged me up pretty good, so I haven't been able to really check."

"You have all your parts." Alec told him. He had asked on the way over to the medical unit for information about Magnus's state, and the answers were vague but informational enough. He knew now that when people spoke of 'Zones', they meant the battle areas, and that the medical units set up close enough to safely treat wounds but not take soldiers too far away from the battle, and that's what had happened with Magnus. "But it was dumb of you to risk your own life like that."

"It's what a good soldier does!" Magnus exclaimed, voice sing-song. Alec frowned, grabbing onto the hand that was still cupping his cheek.

"You could have died." He says.

"Doesn't matter." Magnus shrugged, head lolling to the side and eyes drooping.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" Alec asked, squeezing Magnus's hand hard enough to hurt.

"Ow," Magnus whimpered. "Super strength, remember."

"Sorry," Alec quickly corrected his grip. "But I'm serious, Magnus. You could have died, and then I would have been alone. I'm here to help you, but I barely know anything about the War and what it means to fight. I need you."

"Pfff," Magnus rolled his eyes, too drugged up to not find everything hilarious. "Alexander," He reached up with his free hand and grabbed Alec by the collar of his shirt. _"Alexander,"_ He repeated, because words were not something he was able to think of at that moment. Magnus surprised Alec by yanking him forward and crashing their lips together, a feeling that was completely alien to Alec. Worry had been biting at the back of his mind, constantly going over how he could possibly explain everything to Magnus about how he wasn't a human at all and what he really was, and now they were doing one of the most human acts of all. Kissing.

Not that Alec was complaining.

When Alec managed to sit back, Magnus seemed strangely sober for all of half a second before breaking out in a loopy smile. "I've wanted to kiss you for-- well, since forever!" Magnus exclaimed. Alec felt his cheeks warm up and decided that there were some parts about being human that he didn't like so much, like getting embarrassed and overwhelmed by a beautiful man like Magnus, only because he felt as though he was supposed to be above those pesky human emotions.

"M-maybe you should get some rest." Alec suggested.

"I'm not tired," Magnus argued, holding tight to Alec. 

Alec almost accepted his defeat, when Magnus suddenly passed out. His hand was still clutching to the collar of Alec's shirt, so relinquishing himself from the death grip was quite the task. Alec stood and took a few steps back, but wasn't able to look away from Magnus.

The medical tent was enclosed in an area far away from Zones, but that didn't completely stop sunlight from slipping in between cracks. The slants of light that fell on Magnus illuminated his skin, giving him an angelic glow. Alec tilted his head. The word _home_ jumped to mind. Magnus shone just like Alec's home did, and it didn't matter that he was human. There was a pureness to him that broke through no matter how many battles had soiled him. Alec found himself unable to breathe. He knew what true beauty was, now. It wasn't the perfect angels that he came from, it was humanity. More specifically, the one bloody, broken human laying before Alec then.


	12. Chapter 12

When Magnus awoke, he immediately felt like throwing up. The only problem was that he felt too tired to blink, let alone choke on his own vomit. "Lay still, please." A gentle but urgent voice asked him. Magnus hadn't been aware that he was moving, but he had been twitching and bouncing, trying to untuck himself from the blanket that was covering him. When he looked toward the voice, there stood a young girl with wild curls framing her face. 

"I feel sick," Magnus tried to tell her.

"It's the medicine we gave you." She explained. "Do you need to vomit?"

"I don't--" Before Magnus could answer, he rolled over and threw up into a pail that had been placed beside the bed for precisely that reason. He didn't remember anything. Never before had he needed to be taken to the medical tent in the middle of the War, which made him feel embarrassed. _Soldiers get injured,_ he tried to tell himself. He remembered the bomb going off, but nothing else after that. 

"Feel any better?" Asked the nurse.

"No. My whole body is disconnected." Magnus said. The nurse chuckled at the description.

"Well," She began. "That's probably because you narrowly avoided having it actually become disconnected. You had a visitor that was here ever since you first woke up, but he had to go to a meeting."

Magnus blinked. "I woke up before?" He asked.

"Our medicines are very strong." The nurse told him.

"What's your name?" Magnus asked. "I'm Bane."

"You can call me Maia, it's much more positive than a forgettable last name." The nurse-- Maia-- smiled. "Although, nobody forgets your name, first or last."

Magnus felt embarrassed, and then dizzy. "I should be in that meeting too," He said, trying to sit up again.

"No, no," Maia hurried to push him down. "You need to rest. Clary told me that she's been given special orders for you, and I will not have you returning to her still broken."

Magnus pouted, but relented. She busied herself with checking all of Magnus's vital signs and forcing him to eat some ice chips. "Vomiting dehydrates you," She explained away Magnus's protest. While she was taking care of him, Clarissa appeared. 

"Hello, Clary." Maia greeted kindly. 

"Hey, Maia. Can I speak with Magnus for a second?" Clary asked.

"Of course." Maia made her exit, to go check up on a few of the other injured soldiers. Clary walked over to Magnus's bed and took a seat in the vacant chair next to it.

"I feel pathetic." Magnus told her. 

"Magnus, even the greatest soldiers need healing sometimes." Clary told him. "It doesn't make you pathetic."

Magnus simply sighed. "I hear there was a meeting."

"Yeah, well," Clary sat up straighter, excitement in her eyes. "When I saw what Alec did on the field, how the bullets weren't even hurting him, I got an idea." She paused, grabbing Magnus's hand in her enthusiasm. "You know how in your old missions, you would disguise yourself to make the major kills?"

Magnus flinched at the memories, but nodded.

"Well, if we can get Alec into their base, he could take out the bombs himself rather than waiting to send in a whole team." Clary finished, a proud smile on her face.

"But, Alec doesn't have any training in diffusion." Magnus told her. The news did little to impede her eagerness.

"That's what HQ told me." She smirked. "That's why you're staying with him."

"Bombs are not my specialty." Magnus told her, fear spreading over his chest.

"Magnus, he refuses to work with anyone else."

"Then make him." Magnus insisted. "I don't know how to stop the bombs that are supposed to end the fucking world!"

Clary flinched. "You don't need to stop them," She said. "You just need to help him get in there. You've been out of the game long enough that no one would recognize your disguises. Get him to the bombs, and let him do his job."

"Fine." Magnus sighed. "Where is Alec?"

"He's waiting outside, I asked him to." Clary told him. "I'll get him."

Magnus was left with little time to think in her absence. Not two minutes later, Alec was rushing over to Magnus's bedside. "Hey," Alec smiled. Magnus couldn't help but smile as well, despite the situation. 

"Hello, Alexander."

The two men stared at each other, smiling, just happy to still be alive. Clary cleared her throat and made an excuse to step out, and Alec took her seat. "You worried me." He said, not hesitating in grabbing Magnus's hand.

 _"I_   worried _you?"_ Magnus asked. "Last I remember, you were walking right into millions of bullets!"

Alec chuckled, then grew worried. "That's the last thing you remember?"  
"Well, Maia said I woke up earlier, but the drugs they gave me were so strong that I don't remember anything between getting hurt and now." Magnus explained.

Alec felt dejected, thinking that Magnus only did what he did because of the drugs that the doctors had given him. "What's wrong?" Magnus asked. "Did I say something when I woke up earlier? Did I offend you?"

"No," Alec assured him. "It was nothing you said."

Magnus felt his heart quicken. "Alec, what did I do?"

Alec blushed. "I-- I don't know the word for it." He said. He had only been given the words that angels shared with humans, and since angels never kissed, Alec had no idea that the action even had a name. 

Magnus was confused and worried that he had hurt Alec in his drugged haze. "Well, then, show me." He said.

Alec blushed even greater at the idea. "Maybe it's not the best idea, if you don't remember."

"Alec, I'm worried that I hurt you. Please just show me what I did." Magnus asked. He braced himself for a wound or an insensitive gesture, but when Alec leaned in and kissed him, Magnus felt like exploding. 

"I kissed you?" Magnus asked once Alec sat back, cheeks burning hot to the touch.

Alec shrugged. "If that's what it's called."

"Y--yeah, that's what it's called." Magnus said, staring intensely at Alec's lips. "And, is that okay? Are you mad at me for doing that?"

"N--no," Alec said. "I just-- well, I have a lot to explain to you. About what I am, you know, why I had no idea what kissing was."

"Well, go ahead." Magnus nodded.

"Magnus," Alec began. "There's a reason I fell from such a great height and wasn't injured. Why I can hear you when you talk to me from miles away, why I can fly. Why the bullets don't hurt me." Alec swallowed. "I'm not human. I'm an angel, sent down to Earth to help you humans before this War ended everything."

Growing up, Magnus had never been very religious. He couldn't believe that any God or Gods could allow such suffering to take place on Earth for a supposed better end. Hearing Alec say that he was an angel made Magnus question everything he had come to believe. "So, what about God?" He asked.

"Well," Alec scratched the back of his neck. "It's just been us, for a while." He said. Oh. Magnus sighed, feeling like the ending of his favorite book had been spoiled for him. 

"I can't believe I made out with an angel. I'm sorry, by the way." Magnus said, laughing at the whole ordeal.

"Don't apologize." Alec shook his head. "I liked that."

It was Magnus's turn to blush at the other man's bluntness. "I'm sure I liked it too, considering I've wanted to kiss you practically since I first saw you."

"That's what you said earlier." Alec smiled.

"Damn," Magnus whispered. "I'm not very smooth, am I."

Alec laughed along with Magnus, even though everything was still very unfamiliar to him. Then, Clary appeared again. "Sorry, guys." She said, very clearly having heard a good bit of their conversation. "But we have to get moving, there's been a breakout in a Zone a little east of here. Are you good to fight yet, Magnus?"

Before Magnus could answer, Maia called out, "Absolutely not!" From behind some curtain. Alec gave Magnus's hand one last squeeze before standing. 

"Be safe," Magnus said to both Alec and Clary. "We don't need you guys ending up in these beds, too." 

"I'll visit you after," Alec promised, voice so sure that Magnus wanted to cry. He never had anything sure in his life, it was always iffy and up in the air. 

"You better." Magnus replied. "We have a mission to do once I'm on my feet again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Maia helped Magnus slowly walk. His legs were shaky and he was taxed with a splitting headache after too much exertion. Alec didn't come back that night, which made Magnus so sick with worry that Maia gave him a small dose of a sedative to help him sleep. The next day, they tried walking again and Magnus found himself much more balanced and sure on his feet. Soon, he was walking around the whole medical unit without having to stop to vomit. 

Another day passed, and Maia ordered Magnus to relax while the troop was away. "There's no sense in making yourself sick with worry," Maia told him. "You know Alec will be fine."

"I know," Magnus said. "That doesn't make me miss him any less." 

"Just you wait," Maia smiled. "He'll be back here sooner than you know it, perfectly fine."

When Alec did actually come back, he was covered in blood and carrying the limp body of another soldier. "It's not my blood," He told Maia, who nodded and pushed the body away on a stretcher. Magnus was up on his feet, ready to help where necessary despite still being shaky. "Sit down," Maia snapped as she rushed past.

"I've been sitting," Magnus replied, immediately going to help Clary, who was dragging a body twice her petite frame. Unlike everyone else, Clary didn't immediately demand that Magnus sit down and rest, she just gave him a knowing look and handed the body over. Magnus struggled slightly to continue walking normally. He spotted a vacant bed and placed the body down as gently as possible, careful to avoid looking at the face. When he turned around, Maia was glaring at him. "Do you want to get better or not?" She asked.

"I'm better." Magnus grit out. "I wasn't injured bad. Just shaken up." He pushed forward again to help more, even though his legs were still shaking. He kept going, towing soldier to and fro, winded from the first physical activity he had in a few days. He paused, hand against a wall, breathing heavily. A hand fell on his shoulder, making him flinch. He didn't want anyone to see him like that. 

"Alexander," Magnus breathed when he saw the man, pulling him into a tight hug. "What happened?" 

"They seem to be relying heavily on their bombs." Alec told him grimly. He recounted to Magnus how they had taken to planting them underground, mines that went off and then triggered the rest. Limbs had flown, lives were lost. They salvaged what they could in the haze, but that battle was not a win that day. 

"Are you alright?" Magnus asked, looking over Alec. He said he wasn't covered in his own blood, but the sight was scary nonetheless.

"I can't be hurt by those kinds of weapons." Alec told him. "I'm worried about you, though. You were close to that bomb--"

"I'm fine." Magnus groaned. "Everyone is worried about me, like I actually lost an arm or died." 

"You could have."

"But I didn't." Magnus said firmly, and that was the last time that Alec brought up the situation. "I'm gonna head outside for some fresh air. It smells like death in here." Magnus turned away harshly and made his way to the exit flaps of the tent, eager to be surrounded by anything other than dying soldiers. Alec had been right, Magnus could have gotten hit worse. He was just so sick of everyone worrying about him when there were people far more needier than him. 

When Magnus looked over his shoulder, he saw that Alec hadn't followed him. Instead of worrying about the boy, Magnus tried to remember what it was like to go on the special recon missions, to disguise himself as a soldier on the side that he actually hated and had vowed to destroy. He shuddered, not wanting to have to kill again. But, it was war. Besides, Magnus had already shot someone, he didn't forget that. 

"Magnus, you have to come with us to the meeting so we can prep you and Alec." Clary said from behind him. 

"Alright, give me a minute." He said, not looking back at her.

"Magnus, we have to move, now."

"Clary, there's two months. I'm sure me taking two minutes to catch my breath isn't going to kill us all." Magnus snapped. By then, he was too angry to collect himself, so he just stormed off to the truck and hopped in. Clary followed suit and climbed up front to the passenger seat. After a moment, the driver got in, a man that Magnus had never met before. Alec was the last to arrive, sliding next to Magnus on the floor of the vehicle, their legs pressing against each other. 

"What's bothering you?" Alec asked over the roar of the engine coming to life.

Magnus frowned. "I hate everything about this War."

Alec grabbed his hand. "It'll be over soon."

"That's what everyone's been saying for ten years." Magnus said. He glanced up front, Clary was staring out of the front window, and the driver was absorbed in watching the road. "Then again, I guess we didn't have you these past ten years."

"We didn't realize it was this bad." Alec told him. 

"I have a question," Magnus began. "Why this war? Why not all of the other terrible wars that have been fought over the course of history?"

Alec paused to think. "We aren't supposed to interfere with the path of humanity." He finally explained. "But this war is so bent on destroying humanity that we decided to help, to salvage what we could."

"So you just sit up there and watch us scramble around?" Magnus asked, a little bitter. "Just watch us kill each other and be so cruel, and you haven't jumped in before?"

Alec was a little confused. Why did Magnus seem so angry at him? "Magnus, it takes a lot of energy to come down here. We help, just in smaller, less noticeable ways. Besides, humans have grown to reject the miracles that they so pray for. Sometimes it seems like a lost cause." He paused, focusing intently on his shoes. "But it's our job to protect humans. We can't stop every war, because then you wouldn't have the free will to choose to fight. But this War, one that could wipe out everything no matter race, religion, or any other bias, is the one that needs to be stopped before there's no more humanity to protect."

Magnus didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to keep being angry, there was so much anger that had been building up in him for years. Instead, he just melted into Alec, resting his head on the other man's shoulder. "Better late than never, I guess." He sighed, closing his eyes and letting Alec trace patterns on his legs with the tips of his fingers, anything to distract him from what he was heading to. 

~~~~~~~~~

When the truck began to idle and die down, Magnus stole a quick kiss from Alec, leaving him flustered and confused. "We won't have much time for that, soon." Magnus told him. The doors were then yanked open by Clary, who stepped back while the boys jumped down. Magnus took charge, very familiar with the path in front of him. It was HQ, the place where all the plans were made and sent out to the troops. Before moving to the Facility, Magnus had worked in a cramped office on the second floor, brushed aside like he hadn't done as much as he did.

The small group made their way to a vacant meeting room, all except for the driver, who stayed back in the truck, waiting. Clary sat across from the boys at a long oak table-- very formal for the end of the world. 

"Well, Magnus," Clary sighed. "If you guys pull this off, this will be the last mission you ever go on."

"Forgive me if I'm not apt to immediately believe you when you tell me that." Magnus replied. "The last time I was retired, I was put right back in the army."

Clary moved past the bitter comments and jumped right into the proposed plan. "We've located the building in which the three bombs have been stored. We're going to send you on a plane with a few other defectors to blend as seamlessly as possible."

"You know about defectors and you're just going to let them go?" Magnus asked.

"We can only solve so many problems." Clary said. 

Alec cut in, asking, "Where is the plane going?"

"It's going to the other side of the continent, what used to be California. Those Dry Lands have been the perfect empty place for keeping the weapons to kill us all." Clary explained. "Nothing happens out there, it's been officially declared a Dead Zone. The water is gone, and the temperatures are so unpredictable that everyone's abandoned the area."

"Except those ready to kill us all." Magnus added.

"Right."

"So, when does this plane leave?" Alec asked, speaking up again.

Clary checked something that was written on a piece of paper. "Tomorrow morning. You two will spend the night here and then drive out under the alibi of escaped soldiers eager to betray us."

Magnus tried to appear casual, but deep down, the words made him tense. He felt different than he had three years ago, when the acting was easier and the missions were more exciting. "Once there, you'll have exactly six weeks to destroy those bombs." Clary finished up. "Any questions?" 

Neither Magnus nor Alec were pressed to ask, so Clary stood. "Good. I'll show you to your rooms then, where you can change and come to the cafeteria for a meal."  
At the mention of food, Magnus's stomach growled. He followed Clary down a flight of stairs that lead to the temporary rooms used to book overnight guests. Nobody lived at HQ permanently, but it wasn't uncommon to take refuge in the comfortable beds and eat the fancy food that was offered for free to anyone sporting a war background. 

"Alexander," Clary paused outside of a door. "This will be your room for the night." Magnus watched as Alec nodded and went into the room, the door closing softly behind him. Clary continued walking. She began talking once he caught up.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked. 

"What do you mean?" Magnus was genuinely caught off guard.

Clary sighed. "Becoming emotionally attached to Alec." 

"I'm not--" Magnus tried to debate her, but he knew he couldn't lie to the younger girl. A blush overtook his cheeks, and Clary took note.

"Magnus, you know he's our weapon." Clary said, sympathetic with a hint of... pity? Magnus hated pity. "And with what he says he is-- well, it just isn't smart to fall in love with him."

Magnus laughed nervously. "Who said anything about love?"  
Clary just gave him a look. "This is your room." She announced, stopping suddenly outside of a door. Magnus hadn't been paying attention, he had no idea how to get back to Alec's room. "Get a good night's sleep, you'll need your energy for tomorrow's events."

"Alright, Fray." Magnus rolled his eyes, using the nickname Clary hated. He entered the room and quickly locked to door, eager to fall asleep in a bed that wasn't a thin, cardboard hospital mattress. The room was bare save for the night table and bed, and Magnus saw almost no difference between the hotel-room of sorts and his own home.  
Settling between the sheets, a fog began to crawl into Magnus's mind, and he forgot all about going to eat something. At the same time, worry was nipping at his imagination, the past threatening to replay itself in order to keep Magnus awake. It was like watching a horror movie after staying awake for three days straight, scary but exhausting.

Tossing and turning, Magnus eventually gave up his endeavor to sleep and began staring at the ceiling, trying to think of nothing but actually thinking of everything. _Alexander,_ he began to think. Not _of_ Alec, but _to_ Alec. _I don't know if you can hear me, but I hope you still answer to me calling you. Unless you're asleep. I don't want to wake you up. Sorry if I did. I miss you._

Magnus blinked, his mind feeling empty. There was a gush of wind, as though it was pushed by flapping wings, and Alec appeared at the foot of Magnus's bed. "Hey," Magnus smiled, propping himself up on his elbows.

"You didn't wake me," Alec told him. "I don't sleep much."

"Oh, I'm glad I didn't bother you." Magnus said. 

"You're never a bother." Alec promised, returning Magnus's sleepy smile. "I told you, I'll always come when you call."

"How'd you find my room?" Magnus asked, off topic but curious nonetheless.

"I don't need to know those details," Alec said. "I just go wherever your voice is. Well, anyone who prays to me, but that doesn't happen often."

Magnus smiled, chest fluttering. "Alec, I had a question," He said. "I was wondering, well, hoping that you could sleep in here? With me?"

"There's only one bed, Magnus." Alec told him, confused.

"We can share." Magnus said, chuckling.

"Oh." 

Alec knew what sex was. He was well aware of what humans did to reproduce-- or, even just for pleasure. However, in his mind, two bodies in a bed meant only sex, and the angels had strict rules about sex with humans. Alec had already broken many rules by simply caring for Magnus, but there was something sacred about not sleeping with humans that the angels took pride in. "Magnus, we can't have sex." Alec said bluntly.

Magnus nearly choked on his own spit. "Wh--what!?"

"Your proposal, I'd love to, but there are rules--"

"Alexander, I'm _tired."_ Magnus started laughing. "The last thing I want to do is fuck. I just want to sleep."

"With me?"

"Innocently, nothing more than sleeping." Magnus promised, still chuckling at the whole ordeal. He was a little hurt that Alec was adhering so strictly to supposed rules that kept them from actually having sex, whatever those were, but he was too tired to be offended. So, he just laughed as Alec climbed under the blanket and laid down next to him.  
They settled in together, Magnus rolling on his side to throw an arm around Alec's middle and hold him, Alec slowly melting into the embrace. It had been a while since Magnus had felt so comfortable in bed with another person, and the peace nearly put him to sleep in minutes. "So, you're really an angel?" Magnus asked, breaking the silence of the room.

"Yes." Alec responded, voice gruff from tiredness. Magnus, though much more content than he had been minutes ago, still could not close his eyes. He traced his fingers in patterns on Alec's chest as his mind worked. "So, after all of this, whatever happens, you'll be gone again?"

"I have to go home." Alec told him. "I can't stay with humans forever."

"Right." Magnus whispered, refusing to sniffle. Instead he pushed himself up and kissed Alec, surprising the other man. "You're beautiful." He muttered, letting his head fall back down, finally drained of all extra energy.

Alec laid awake for a few minutes more, gently combing through Magnus's hair with his hand before drifting off to sleep.

 _"What do you think you're doing?"_ Isabelle demanded of her brother when he visited his home that night. 

_"What do you mean?"_ Alec asked, losing the content smile that had spread on his face; that he had carried all the way home.

 _"With that human."_ Isabelle said. _"Kissing him._ Kissing _him, Alexander. You know what comes next with humans? Fornication. You know what is strictly forbidden? Fornication with humans."_ Suddenly Alec could see himself laying in bed with Magnus, how the other man wrapped himself so tightly around him, like he was afraid he would run away. 

 _"Isabelle,"_ Alec sighed. _"If that were the case with all humans, I would not be here right now. Instead, Magnus really did just sleep, and so did I."_

Isabelle chewed on her lip. Her perfect hair fell in a shining cascade over her carved figure, worry creasing her smooth skin. _"Alec,"_ She used the nickname Magnus had given him-- nicknames were not used in Alec's home. _"You know that we do not experience the same emotions humans do. We do not love as they do, and we do not have the drive that they do. By starting down this path, I fear you may never be able to turn back."_

 _"I'm there for a mission."_ Alec said firmly, fear sparking in his chest.

Isabelle rolled her eyes. _"So you're telling me that Magnus Bane is only part of the mission to you? That you do not wish to be intimate with him and protect him?"_

Alec grimaced. _"He's a human, of course I want to protect him."_ He tried to defend himself.

_"And kissing him, fantasizing about him, that's protecting him?"_

Alec couldn't respond. His sister was right. Angels never loved, not in the romantic manner that humans had attached to the word, but Alec was beginning to feel as though he could understand why the emotion was worth the humanity. _"Why are you bringing this up?"_ Alec eventually asked, eager for any sort of topic change.

Isabelle sighed. _"I'm just worried. I don't want you to get hurt, and I don't want the human getting hurt either."_

_"Is--"_

_"Johnathan said that he is ready to replace you if necessary."_ Isabelle rushed to say. _"Just a warning. You know he doesn't take these things lightly. I figured you'd rather hear it from me than fight with him."_

Alec swallowed. The last thing he wanted was to be replaced.

When he woke up, he was sweating hard. Magnus was still wrapped around him, looking peaceful and happy. Alec's heart beat hard, not wanting to leave but knowing that his sisters and brothers would remain true to their word and replace him. Alec felt that he could do more good for Magnus by leaving before any emotions had the chance to come to life; the survival of humanity was more important than what Alec personally wanted. 

Slowly and as quietly as possible, Alec untangled their bodies. He painfully wished for any other sort of ending, maybe one where he stayed despite Isabelle's warning, one where he woke Magnus with a kiss and took the time to be selfish. Instead, Alec climbed out of the bed and went back to his own room, not daring to look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been having a bad time with things so I keep forgetting to post stuff lmao im terrible


	13. Chapter 13

Waking up, Magnus realized the bed was colder. As his eyes fluttered open, he saw that Alec was gone. Maybe he went to the bathroom? Magnus shook his head. Deep down, he knew that Alec left for a bigger reason than needing to pee. Magnus sat up slowly, forgetting the previous night as best he could, but he felt embarrassed about how quick he was to completely disregard boundaries. Maybe he had scared Alec away.

There was a knock on the door, and Magnus perked up, hoping to see tousled black hair and bright blue eyes peak through the crack. Instead, the red hair of Clary appeared. "Oh, good. You're awake." She smiled. "I was hoping you still got up at the crack of dawn."

"Not much has changed." Magnus told her.

"Alec's eating breakfast, you should try to get something in you too." She advised. "I know you don't like breakfast, but we leave in less than an hour and the trip is going to be a long one. Food is fuel, Magnus."

Magnus, however, just rolled his eyes, used to Clary's concerned lectures. "Yes, mom." He sighed, getting out of bed and stretching. He followed Clary to where food was being offered and his eyes immediately fell on Alec. He looked tired, more so than Magnus had seen him up to that point. He wanted to go and sit next to him, but he felt frozen at the door. 

Alec looked up, like he could sense that someone was staring at him. He made eye contact with Magnus, paused, and looked back down at his food. Magnus had seen a look of pure disdain on Alec's face and couldn't help but wonder what he had done over the course of a few hours, a time in which he wasn't even awake. Did he say something in his sleep?

"Bane," A voice called from the other end of the room. Magnus looked, but not before noticing that Alec glanced curiously as well. Magnus saw an old friend named Catarina sitting at a small table, beckoning to him. Without another look at Alec, Magnus happily went over. It had been a while since he had seen her. 

"Catarina," Magnus smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"I help out in the psychological facility here," She explained. "A lot of soldiers get sick, but not in a physical, easily curable way."

Magnus swallowed hard and refrained from telling her that he understood. "It's good to see you." He told her, and it was the truth. Catarina had worked both on the field and in the hospitals, taking personal care of Magnus when he was too stubborn to take an open bed in the medical units. 

"You too," Catarina replied. "Although I never thought I'd see you on these missions again. Didn't you get promoted?"

Magnus cracked a smile, a little pleased that such good news had been spread and boosted his reputation. "Yes, well, hopefully this will be the last mission anyone has to go on." He told her. She quirked an eyebrow, but didn't ask any further questions. She knew Magnus would explain everything in his own time, which he did. 

By the end, Catarina was eager to find out who Alexander was. "Why?" Magnus asked.

"Because I've never seen your eyes shine brighter when talking about someone-- not even Camille." She replied. Magnus flinched at the memory.

"Well, he seems to be ignoring me now, so that's going nowhere."

"What did you do?"

"That's the problem," Magnus sighed. "He went to sleep with me and when I woke up, he was gone. Now he's acting like he doesn't know me."

"Maybe he's nervous." Catarina suggested.

"About what?" Magnus asked, genuinely confused. "I've done nothing more than kiss him, which he told me he was fine with."

"He might be fine with it, but that doesn't mean he's not nervous," Catarina chuckled. "I'm sure he has his reasons."

Magnus glanced across the room to where Alec sat. Clary sat there talking with him, but Magnus noticed that Alec wasn't exactly paying attention. He quickly turned back to Catarina. "And now he's just staring daggers at me." He whispered, even though Alec was too far away to hear anything. Catarina's eyes flickered quickly to observe.

"He is not. He's just looking. If anything, he looks sad." She said.

"Whatever," Magnus huffed, drinking some of Catarina's coffee.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. "Get your own, it's a goddamn buffet of food." 

She was smiling behind it all, and Magnus relaxed, happy to be with such an old and familiar friend. She caught him up own her endeavors in the medical field. Magnus mentioned that he was recently a patient, and Catarina's eyes bulged as she joked, "You're a brat, I'd hate to be your doctor."

"You love me," Magnus smiled.

They ate together and drank enough coffee to fuel an army, and eventually Clary came bounding over to tell Magnus that it was time to go. All of the contentment and lightness spilled out of Magnus, and suddenly the food he had eaten felt like a brick weight in his stomach. He said his goodbyes to Catarina and took one last look around the room, trying to store the happy image away for hard times. 

"Meet me out front where we arrived in no more than ten minutes." Clary told him, hustling off to organize more things. 

Magnus searched for Alec, and found him talking with a blond-haired boy, looking at him with all the endearment and love a person could ever have for someone else. Magnus didn't know the new boy-- he had never seen him before in his life, but his heart sank nonetheless. Alec laughed and moved his body close to the other boy, and the whole scene made Magnus's vision go blury. He blinked, and the blond was gone. Alec was staring right at Magnus. Alec made his way through the crowd toward Magnus, who felt frozen in his gaze.

"Hey," Alec smiled gently.

"Hi?" Magnus asked, not sure what was going on. Alec had seemed pretty happy with the other boy a few seconds ago. He had disappeared in the morning and ignored Magnus, and now he approached him, and Magnus just felt sick. 

Alec moved as though he was going to grab Magnus's hand like usual, before pausing. "What's going on, Alec?" Magnus asked. He couldn't keep his voice steady. 

"We have a mission." Alec told him.

"Yes, I know this." Magnus sighed. "This is becoming repetitive. Look, if you don't want anything to do with me, just tell me. Don't be an asshole."

It was Alec's turn to be confused. "Magnus, I can't just show you more interest than the rest of the humans."

"I don't see why not." Magnus rolled his eyes.

"Because it's not right."

"You angels really don't know what it means to care for someone." Magnus said. "You can protect everyone but still care for one specific person in a different way. Don't go around leading a guy on like that, Alexander. Now I get it, from here on out we'll just be partners on a mission."

Alec reached for Magnus, who promptly pulled away like Alec was poisonous. "Don't touch me," Magnus hissed, before turning to go where Clary had told him to. He was outraged, feeling as though what Alec said was just a bullshit excuse. Last Magnus checked, his life wasn't the only one being saved, it wasn't special treatment. Clary stopped him before he clamored into the vehicle, eager to sit in a car that had windows he could actually look out of. "Debrief Alec for me, will you? We've got to get going if we're gonna make the flight."

Magnus looked over his shoulder at Alec, who was walking slowly to the truck, nervous under the other man's glare. "The rules are simple," He began as they climbed in either side of the car. "Don't let the enemy find out that you're a spy, and don't get shot." With that, he angled his body towards the door and stared out the window, though the scenery blurred together and his eyes were too heavy to keep open.

Clary frowned and launched into an actual rundown of the plan. "Well, Magnus is right." She grimaced. "But you'll need more info. When you get to the building, you'll be assigned jobs. It's unlikely that you'll be assigned together, so try to find each other as soon as possible. After you guys meet up and identify a rendezvous, you'll have to work to get the codes to the bombs, which we've been clued into being on the lowest floor, but don't quote me on that."

"How do we shut down the bombs?" Alec asked.

"Well, if Simon is right, it should be as simple as putting in the right deactivation code and destroying them from there." Clary explained. "But be careful, if you don't deactivate them beforehand they could explode."

"I have a question," Magnus spoke up, looking forward toward Clary. "Why do I have to go?"

"To help Alec." Clary said, worry creeping into her voice. She had warned Magnus about the angel just last night, and she could sense that something had happened.

Magnus sighed. "Alec's a damn angel," He said. "he doesn't need help."

"No offense," Clary said to Alec before looking back to Magnus. "But he doesn't exactly know how to blend in."

"And if we get assigned separately?" Magnus asked. "I can't exactly demand to be with him without raising suspicion."

Clary bit her lip. "Like I said, you'll find each other."

"I haven't done a recon mission in three years," Magnus started. "You're placing your bets on a man that has severe PTSD and an angel that doesn't understand how humanity works."

Clary's eyes flickered to Magnus through the rear view mirror. "What was that about PTSD?"

"Camille never told you about my diagnosis?" Magnus asked. Suddenly he felt sweaty and cramped. He thought Clary had known about his issue beforehand, that it was required for all medical complications to be known when dealing with recon missions. Magnus felt like he had exposed himself. He felt both Alec and Clary staring at him, and even the driver who was a stranger briefly glanced in the mirror. 

"No," Clary finally said. "That wasn't in your file."

"It should've been." Magnus choked out, his throat tightening up. His mind started racing. Clary not knowing about it meant that she hadn't accommodated for potential attacks and other problems, which meant that Magnus was not suited for the mission. 

Clary looked away from Magnus. "It's too late to turn back." She muttered. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry." Magnus told her, though he had secretly been hoping it would get him out of the mission. "You're in this War too." He tried to smile, but it just came out wobbly.

"Magnus--"

"Don't talk about it." Magnus snapped at Alec. He had seen everything, reached into Magnus's mind, pulled out everything private. The back of Magnus's neck was sweating, and he felt like opening the car door and falling out. Before he could do anything like that, the car started slowing down and Magnus saw that they were approaching a small airplane. Alec was still staring at Magnus, but Magnus was stubborn and forced himself to keep his eyes away from the other man. 

"Here we are." Clary announced, clearing away the awkward air. "One last thing, you two won't have twenty-four-seven contact with us at HQ, which means you'll be alone for most of the mission. There are radios in the Dry Lands, but they're not the most reliable."

Magnus nodded and exited the car. He swaggered up to the guard standing by the plane, who eyed him warily. "Hello." Magnus called over the roar of the plane engine. "Where's your commander?"

"That would be me," A voice called from atop the steps to the plane. Magnus looked and squinted against the sunlight, seeing a man with blond hair and pale skin. He looked older than Magnus, smile taunting and devious. "What can I do for you?" He asked.

Magnus smiled easily. He slipped into his role as though he was putting on his favorite suit. The only difference was that he stuck to his real name. In past missions, he would come up with some random conglomeration of generic names to help hide himself, but since it was the last mission he thought it would be freeing to be truthful-- at least partly. "My name is Magnus Bane." He announced. "I'm one of the top soldiers on either side of the War, and I'm here to fight for you now."  
The man at the top of the stairs seemed to freeze. "Men!" He called, and a handful of new guards appeared from around the plane. "Search him for any weapons or communication devices."  
Magnus complied through the search, picturing the headlines that were sure to come out. _Former Ally Magnus Bane Betrays The Cause._ He'd cause an uproar.

"He's clear." One soldier announced.

With the verification, the commander stepped down to be level with Magnus, though he was a few inches shorter. "How can we believe it's you?" The man asked. Magnus nodded over his shoulder.

"I brought a fellow soldier with me to confirm. He's helped me see that I've been fighting for the wrong side."

The commander shifted his gaze to behind Magnus, to where Alec was standing, eyes wide and obviously unsure of what he was doing. Before the commander could question the insecurity, Magnus scrambled together an excuse. "He's a new recruit, forced under the side of his district despite different beliefs. He's been waiting for a chance to escape, so I invited him with me."

The man bit his cheek while he thought. "If you come with us, understand that you and your soldier will be subject to a full medical examination upon arrival, to check for anything that might have been missed here."

Magnus nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything less thorough." 

He was escorted on the plane and just like that, Magnus Bane had switched sides. He figured they were desperate for fighters, and once news had gotten out that Magnus had switched, more people were sure to follow. 

Alec was sat next to Magnus, and he grabbed the armrests of his chair tight enough to make his fingertips turn white from pressure. "Never flown?" Magnus asked, forgetting for a moment that he was supposed to be mad at Alec.

"I have," Alec said. "Just not like this." Magnus remember the time when Alec had sprouted wings and flown out of the Facility, then ventured to guess that he felt trapped in the man-made aircraft. Suddenly Alec whispered, "Clarissa told me that we were supposed to use fake names and stories, why did you use your real information?"

"Listen," Magnus began. "You might be the expert on saving the world, but I'm the expert on lying. So don't question how I do it."

The words were harsh and Alec sat back. The engine grew louder as the plane started slowly lurching forward. Magnus had been on any type of plane imaginable, so the movement did little to stir him. Alec, on the other hand, looked like he was going to explode. _Not so mighty now,_  Magnus thought, then felt a little bad. Then he decided he had nothing to feel bad about. 

He knew the flight to the other side of the country would be long, so he laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, eager for the next six weeks to be over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how to write


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired

The Dry Lands were worse than anyone had ever described them. Mountains of sand buried buildings and demolished structures, leading everyone to just build on top of what was abandoned. The wind was unrelenting, wiping sand into the skin as Magnus and the other defectors marched from the plane to the bomb center. Once inside, they were finally spoken to. "Stop here." The commander said, turning to face everyone. 

"My name is Valentine Morgenstern. Welcome to the right side." He smiled. "From here, you will be assigned duties. Some of you may be wondering why we aren't training for field combat here, and that is because we have a plan that is being finalized that will end the need for battles altogether." A murmur of excitement stirred the soldiers, all except for Magnus and Alec, who knew what the plan was. "So, for now, you all will be responsible for helping to protect this building. It is the most important thing that you could do with your lives. You're saving the world."

There was a small, quick cheer before it died down and the boys and girls were directed in a certain direction. "Bane," Valentine called out. "You and your soldier go this way."  
A few heads turned at the name, but everyone continued walking the direction in which they were told, like lambs to the slaughter.

"You," Valentine nodded to Alec. "Your name."

"A-Alec-- Alexander." He said, voice rough from lack of use.

"You sure about that?" Valentine asked him, picking up on the nervousness.

"Yes, his name is Alexander." Magnus said. "He was abandoned as a kid, doesn't have a last name to call his own."

"Pity," Valentine frowned. "Last names are what makes a man." He led the boys down the hall and it became narrower, and more white. 

Magnus figured that they must have entered into the medical unit of the building, and made a mental note to tell Catarina that there was hardly no supplies in the area. Valentine ordered a few nurses to strip-search Alec and Magnus, and the girl and boy awkwardly complied, examining the skin and crevices of the boys until they were determined to be clear. The whole time, Valentine kept his cold, beady eyes on them, like he was trying to set them on fire with just his gaze. While they were getting dressed, Valentine said, "Bane, you'll be assigned with me. No offense, but I can't just let you out immediately."

"I understand." Magnus said, though he didn't want to spend any more time with the balding man than he absolutely had to. "And my pal here?" He asked, nodding to Alec.

Valentine looked him over, eyes scanning for imperfections. He noticed that Alec had a hard time looking him in the eye. "You two can room together, but I think Alexander here would be better suited working on the mechanics."

"I'm not trained in that department." Alec quickly informed him.

"I'm sure you're a fast learner." Valentine smirked. His tone made it clear that there was to be no arguing. They walked back to the main lobby, and Magnus had the chance to silently observe everything he could land his eyes on. The building seemed lifeless; he couldn't help but wonder if the war would fizzle out before the bombs could even be launched. Valentine seemed like the kind of guy to launch them anyway. "I'll escort you two to your room, and then I can get Alexander to his job."

The room they were given was bare white and dusty. The door jammed when Valentine first attempted to open it, causing him to need to use extra force on the old wooden contraption. "Sorry about that," He huffed. "Home sweet home. This will be only temporary while the new recruits are placed. You two have your own bathroom to share and two beds. What else could a man need?" He chuckled. Magnus just cringed. "Alexander, come with me. Magnus, feel free to shower or rest."

Alec glanced back at Magnus as he left, eyes wide and clearly trying to communicate that the last thing he wanted to do was go with Valentine. Magnus looked away, pretending to be interested in the flecks of dust floating around in the air. He still felt bitter about what had happened only hours earlier. In the end, Magnus did shower, and he ended up falling asleep despite worrying about being alert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus was dreaming. He knew he was dreaming, tried telling himself that he was stuck in a dream, but it didn't make a difference. He was with Alec, and they were laughing together, happy and relaxed. Then they were kissing, and then they were doing more than just kissing and all Magnus could focus on was the way Alec moaned his name. In fact, the dream-Alec sounded so realistic that Magnus swore it sounded like he was speaking right into his ear. Then something started shaking his shoulder and the dream started slipping away. "Magnus," dream-Alec called, lips pouting and eyes inviting. "Magnus!"

Magnus sat up straight, blush on his cheeks and blankets awkwardly gathered around his lap for camouflage. Alec sat on the edge of Magnus's bed, unaware of the problem Magnus was having. 

"Alec," Magnus said, clearing his throat of both sleepiness and fogginess. "What's up?"

"Sorry for waking you up," Alec spoke quickly. "But Valentine will be back any second and I needed to talk to you."

"Talk," Magnus nodded. 

"You know how the building seemed empty and out of resources when we first walked through?" Alec asked, earning another nod. "Well, the lower floor has more than you could possibly imagine. I saw tech, food, weapons, everything."

The news made Magnus's mouth run dry. He had hoped for a wasteland to easily take down, but if they were supplied, they could survive. "So, there's nothing but production?"

"No," Alec said. "I saw troops marching in formation, with guns. It's like he's ready for anything at any moment."

"Fuck--"

There was a knock on the door and Valentine appeared, head poking through the crack. He looked between Magnus and Alec, who were both still on the bed. "Magnus Bane," He said, creepy smile decorating his face. "I was hoping you'd go on a walk with me. Get a tour, the whole deal."

"Uh, yeah, of course." Magnus said, and kicked his legs over the side of the bed to stand. By that time, his dream had been forgotten. "Just get some rest," He told Alec, who was not very good at hiding his worry. 

Magnus followed Valentine out into the hall. "So," Valentine clapped his hands together like he was preparing a presentation. "Our building has two floors, this one, and the underground level-- just wait until you see it." They started walking. "This level is more of a decoy..."

Magnus started to tune the man's monotonous voice out, focusing on every potential weakness of the building. There were cracks and mold spots, but who knew what was fake and real anymore. Valentine seemed to be a master of disguise. As they went down steps and the lower level revealed itself to Magnus, he felt like he was entering a city. People buzzed around and soldiers marched, activity and noise happening from every corner and group of people. "Shit," Magnus whispered. Valentine took what was actually distress as Magnus being impressed, and took his time in bragging about everything he had created. 

Magnus frowned. It was a pity, all the architecture, and Valentine was fine with just blowing it all up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of these days im gonna delete everything............
> 
> but until that day im just gonna bask in the cringe.


	15. One End

Despite what Valentine had originally said, he was quick to trust Magnus. Once inspecting him inside and out had revealed that there were no radios, no bugs, nothing that could allow Magnus to betray him, Valentine practically gave him full access to everything. Magnus could tell that he had become another one of Valentine's bragging pieces, one to throw in the faces of the others and laugh, _"Look what I've stolen from you_."

Being towed around by Valentine had its perks, one of them being networking. All of the higher-ups knew about Magnus, and were eager to flock to him and confirm the gossip with their own eyes. There were specific men and women in charge of specific work stations, and Magnus turned up the charm on all of them to try and figure out where the bombs could possibly be hidden. Up to that point, there were no clues. Clary had told him that they guessed the bombs to be on the lowest level, but despite Magnus spending the majority of his time down there, he could find nothing.

There were three weeks left.

Magnus stayed true to his word to Alec and remained distant, upholding his promise to keep them partners on a mission only, even though sleeping less than three feet away from him every night made that resolution even harder. There had been countless nights where Magnus stayed awake fighting the urge to get up and cross the distance between them. He had been successful thus far, but time was running out. Time was always running out.

There was one man, older than Magnus, who seemed especially interested in Magnus's charms. Magnus used this to his advantage, drawing as much information as he could from the man. One day, Magnus had managed to escape Valentine for a few hours, and was walking with the older man around the building. "There's been rumors," Magnus said, keeping his voice low to imply importance. "That the plan you guys are finalizing are _scary_." He emphasized the emotive and batted his eyelashes. Magnus was never one to shy away from the powers of his body. 

"Well, some might think that." The man said. Magnus couldn't remember his name. He had been formally introduced to the guy, but he was so deeply repulsed by everything that the name never latched in his memory. "But it is the ultimate solution, nothing to be afraid of."

Magnus paused the man, placing a hand on his bicep. "Is it true that the plan involves bombs?" The man's eyes widened, and Magnus added, "Like, end-of-the-world bombs?"

"We shouldn't be discussing this in public." The man whispered, clearly flustered.

Magnus smirked. "Then let's go somewhere more private." He let his hand drag slowly up the man's arm, to his shoulder. Magnus fiddled with the man's shirt collar, letting his fingers drag over the bare skin that peaked through. The man blushed. He wasn't unattractive necessarily, he had a solid frame for someone his age and hair that was hardly discolored. Magnus had gathered that he was one of the closest to Valentine within his little circle.

"I-I can't," The man eventually cleared his throat and stepped back, though he wasn't convincing. The lust shone in his eyes, and Magnus read him like a book.

"Fine," He sighed. "Maybe another time." He winked, knowing that he had very little time to actually get codes and location out of the man.

The man walked away, tripping slightly over his feet and throwing glances over his shoulder at Magnus, who simply leaned against the wall next to him and pushed his hips out in just a suggestive way that made the man walk a little faster. It was only a matter of time before he caved. "Why not go directly to the main source?" A voice asked once the older man had disappeared. Magnus flinched and spun around, seeing Alec frowning down at him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, refusing to acknowledge the blush that was rising on his cheeks. 

"Well, why try to sleep with the man who might not have anything you want, when Valentine could give you all of the answers?" Alec asked, struggling to keep his voice level.

Magnus chuckled. "It doesn't work like that. Valentine doesn't exactly swing my way."

"how do you know?"

"It's just something you pick up on, okay?" Magnus shook his head. "Besides, it's none of your business."

Alec gawked. "Yes, it is." He said. "I need to know any information you get out of him. I'm part of this mission too."

Magnus rolled his eyes. "You haven't gotten any information because I don't have any to give. I know I'm attractive, but I only started working on him a day ago." 

"What's your plan?" Alec asked, wondering if he even actually wanted to know. 

"He's close to Valentine, he's gotta have information on the bombs, or something to point me in the right direction." Magnus said. "The quickest and easiest way to get it out of him is seduction." 

"You're telling me there's absolutely no other way for you to get that information?" Alec asked, disbelief coloring his tone.

"Oh, there is," Magnus shrugged. "But they're not as fun."

With that, Magnus spun away from Alec and walked in a random direction, with no specific task in mind. Alec, on the other hand, had to report to the mechanical shop to work on pointless tools that distracted from Valentine's main arsenal. He took out his frustrations with the hammer against the metal, earning nods of approval from some of the other soldiers who had been considering him a lackadaisical worker before. 

As Alec sweat, two girls were whispering to each other and giggling, eyes never leaving him. By the end of the shift, they had moved their work next to Alec, and stopped him before he could leave. "You're new here," the blonde one said. "I'm Lydia," She held out a hand, and Alec shook it awkwardly.

"Alec." He replied.

"Listen, we've been hearing gossip about what the boss is planning, and we saw the coolest thing yesterday." Lydia said excitedly. She leaned into Alec, pressing her hand against his upper arm.

"What was that?"

"There are these bombs," The other girl spoke, lowering her voice in such a way that Alec had to lean into her to catch the words. Immediately, his heart leaped.

"Bombs?" He asked.

"Yeah," Lydia nodded. "Word is that Valentine plans to end the war with them. You know, defeat the other side."

Alec felt sweaty, but swallowed nervously and acted brave. "C-could you maybe show me them?" He asked. Lydia glanced at her friend, and they had a hard time disguising more of their giggles. 

"Sure," The other girl winked. "Pack up your stuff, let's go."

They led Alec out of the workshop, entering the buzz of the lower floor. People were eating and chatting away, looking nothing like an occupied military base. The girls, however, shushed Alec and stuck to the walls. Alec followed, awkwardly crouching next to them as they moved, trying not to get too close. Lydia stopped suddenly, causing Alec to bump into her. "Sorry," Alec muttered. She swatted the words away, shushing him again. The three had made it to the opposite end of the floor, near a medical station. Alec wondered if the girls had been telling the truth, or were just trying to get him alone. 

They looked around, and then pulled the curtains aside. Behind them was a door, not a medical scene. Alec blinked. It always looked so busy from the outside, with nurses and doctors rushing back and forth. It was an illusion. Lydia reached for the door and it opened easily, not even locked. Perhaps to make the fake scenes seem as real as possible. Doctors and nurses having to constantly pause to unlock a door didn't necessarily show urgency and accessibility. Or, maybe the girls had broken the lock. Either way, Alec accepted Lydia's offer for him to go first. 

Entering through the door, Alec was greeted by the sight of stairs that led practically straight down, turning at different landings. Alec began descending, feeling more and more uneasy as he went. The path was dimly lit, and the only other sound Alec could hear besides his own footsteps was the girls'. Then, just as suddenly as the stairs had started, they stopped.

Alec looked forward, down a stretch of hall that was lined by a window. "Be careful," Lydia whispered. "Sometimes Valentine patrols." Alec nodded and stepped forward, sticking to the shadows. He approached the edge of the window and looked through, and realized that it was less of a window and more of an observation glass, showing the other side of the room. Alec couldn't believe what he saw. The rockets were unlike anything he had ever seen. Clary had been wrong, there wasn't only three, there were more than a dozen bombs waiting, towering over anyone and anything that dared to approach it. The wall in the room had a clock that was counting down, and Alec saw that it read one week, not two or three, meaning he and Magnus had been wrong about the launch time.

Alec straightened up and rushed back to the stairs. "What's wrong?" Lydia asked, hurrying after him. "Isn't it cool?"

"Y-yeah," Alec breathed. "Just nerve wracking, I guess."

The girls accepted the rushed answer and stayed at the bottom of the stairs, giggling away. Alec, on the other hand, could only focus on getting to Magnus and telling him everything. When Alec burst out of the medical tent, he smacked into somebody. "Alexander," Valentine's growled. "How are you?"

Next to him, Magnus stood, eyes wide with worry and questions. 

"I-I'm fine, sir." Alec nodded, forcing himself to appear calm. 

"What were you doing in the medical unit?" Valentine asked, eyes narrowed. 

"Well, look at him." Magnus spoke up, surprising both men. "He's shaken, obviously. Pale. Doesn't look to good. He's sick, here for medicine."

Valentine smirked. Alec wondered how Magnus could lie so easily. "Of course," Valentine sighed. "Silly of me to think he could be here for anything else. What's the diagnosis?"

"J-just a cold," Alec told him, finding it no trouble to make his voice raspy.

"I'll walk him back to our room, sir." Magnus told Valentine, who nodded. As the two began to walk away, Valentine never took his eyes off of them, until they were out of his line of sight completely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been sick with a stomach virus and fever so i haven't written much, and i'm sure what i have isn't very great
> 
> also the 100 killed me dead


	16. Chapter 16

Back in their room, Alec wanted to talk immediately. Magnus clamped a hand over his mouth and shook his head. He raised a finger to his lips to tell Alec to stay quiet, while he wrote  _they might be listening_ on a scrap piece of paper. Alec nodded and grabbed paper of his own. "So, how are you feeling?" Magnus asked, motioning for Alec to make small talk while he wrote.

"You know," He rasped. "Sore throat, headache, I think I got something from the mechanics." He slid the paper to Magnus. 

_At least 12 bombs,_ Magnus read. "Oh, yeah," He said, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. "That place is dirtier than you'd think. Gotta be careful." _Bigger than anything I've ever imagined._ Magnus held in a gasp. 

"Trust me, I'll be washing my hands more." Alec said grimly. "I hate colds."

"Me too." Magnus hummed, scribbling something else down.  _I'm going to get the codes. Now._

Alec wanted to stop him, tell him to be careful or wait, but Magnus was too anxious to calm down. Alec didn't know what to say to get him to stay, but wouldn't get them into trouble if anyone was actually listening in. Before he could come up with anything, there was a knock on the door. The boys froze, staring at each other. Magnus nodded to Alec's bed and Alec understood, going to lay under the covers like he was actually sick. Waiting just a moment, Magnus answered the door. "Magnus Bane, Alexander." A guard read their names from a document.

"Yes?"

"You two are being assigned bunks now, congratulations." The guard said, lacking any real enthusiasm.

"What does that mean?" Magnus asked, resisting the urge to look at Alec.

"That you have official posts now." The other man replied. "Bane, if you'll come with me. Alexander will be taken to his new room shortly."

Magnus didn't want to go with the man, but he also didn't want to cause a scene. He bit his cheek, and followed the guard out of the door, hearing it click shut behind him with an air of finality. He knew that they would not put Alec in the same place as him, if they even kept him alive. Magnus had the paper they were writing on in his pocket, and knew he had to get rid of it as soon as possible. He looked calm and innocent as he walked through the halls, and the guard didn't seem hostile. Eventually, Magnus was given a bed in a room of eight, filling in the last all the way in the corner. He hated confined spaces. "Here you are, Bane." The soldier said. "Valentine will be here shortly."

With that, Magnus was left alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec was ripped from his bed. A guard threw him on the ground and pinned him down, immobilizing him. "What--"

"Don't struggle." Valentine's cold voice said from the doorway. "It will only make it worse for you."

"I don't know what's happening."

"Take him to the prison." Valentine ordered, ignoring Alec's statements. Alec flinched at the word  _prison_ and struggled against the grips of the other men, knowing he could easily fling them off. When it became evident that two guards weren't enough, three, four, eventually eight guards were holding him and dragging him down the hall. Alec was panicking, the idea of confinement paralyzing him. He knew he couldn't just blast them away, because then Valentine would try to kill him, see that he couldn't be killed, and then blast the rockets. It all came down to the damn rockets.

Alec was tossed into a cold cell, air knocked out of his lungs as he slid on the stone floor. He scrambled to his feet, knowing that he was more exposed if not alert. "I know you saw those rockets." Valentine said. "What reason would you have to be down there if not to spy?"

"It was those girls," Alec choked out. "They wanted to impress me--"

"Were you impressed?" Valentine asked. 

"I was disgusted." Alec spit, giving up his facade.

Valentine smirked. "That's what I thought." He paced back and forth, never taking his eyes off of Alec, like a hunter stalking its prey. "And what about Magnus? Does he know about all of this?"

Alec quickly shook his head. "No, he doesn't know that I lied about wanting to come with him." 

"How can I believe you?"

"It's just me. I used Magnus as an excuse to leave the other side and spy here, but he was truly dedicated to his cause."

Valentine raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be?" 

"The end of the world." Alec panted. "He's tired. He's broken. He wants it all to end, just like you."

A smile spread on Valentine's face. "You'll be kept here," He declared. "No point in looking forward to parole, seeing as in a week, there won't be anyone left alive." Alec froze, he had forgotten to mention the time to Magnus. Valentine walked away from the cell, and Alec was left in silence. He was failing his mission, and he had given up everything he had wanted anyway.

_Alexander,_ Magnus's voice rung in his head.  _Don't bother coming to me and causing trouble. I just need to talk to you._ Alec sat back against a wall, wishing he could talk back to Magnus and guide him.  _I wanted to let you know that I am going to get those codes. But you need to know, that when I am fully dedicated to a mission, I lose myself. I'm no longer Magnus. I'm a killer, I'm a spy. What I'm doing may be for humanity, but I won't seem very human in the process._ Alec felt like crying.  _I just wanted to let you know, that I'm not giving up, and neither should you._

Magnus knew better than to charge into his plan immediately. After everything, it would only raise suspicion if he went around asking about the bombs. After two days, he knocked on the door to the office of the older man, whom he had been charming previously. Magnus had been careful to flush what he and Alec had written down a toilet. When the door opened, the man looked tired and disheveled, but quickly tried to clean himself up at the sight of Magnus. 

Magnus pressed up against the door and looked up at the man with wet eyes. "I've heard things," He started. The man shushed him and pulled him inside his office. 

"You can't talk about those things," He told Magnus. "Valentine will lock you up."

Magnus pictured Alec in a cell, then pushed Alec out of his mind altogether. "I just, I want to see them for myself." Magnus explained, inching toward the man, fiddling with his tie. "But I hear you need codes for that."

"Yes," The man said. "Or, I could just take you. You know, as part of a, uh, observation." 

Magnus shook his head. "I was hoping we could make a deal." He wrapped his arms around the man's neck, pressing against him. "I wanted to see them by myself, experience it all on my own. Could you give me the codes?"

The man's breath had quickened. "For what?"

Magnus smirked. "For me, of course."

The man shuddered and forced a kiss onto Magnus, who had to use all of his strength not to pull away and gag. He walked the man back, into his chair, and climbed onto his lap, perched just so. "Codes?" He asked the man after another torturous kiss.

"After," The man moaned, thrusting up. Magnus grimaced and shook his head. 

"Now or nothing," He glared, and the man relented, anxious to just undress Magnus. He kept Magnus on his lap with one arm and searched around the drawers of his desk with the other, finally pulling out a flash drive from the mess. Magnus smiled and slid the drive into his pocket, then focused on the man beneath him, anger filling his veins. The man was already gone, probably from lack of contact for years. When he noticed that Magnus seemed more bored than anything, he asked, "You're not enjoying this?"

They hadn't even taken off clothes at that point; the old man was essentially just dry-humping Magnus's leg. Magnus felt sick, but then the sickness dissolved into pure hatred. "No, not really." He said honestly.

The man stopped his movements and looked at Magnus, confused. "Wha--"

Before the man could say another word, Magnus had whipped out a gun and shot him in the head. 

Blood went everywhere, and the man careened back in his chair before becoming dead weight. Magnus awkwardly shimmied off of him, before going to his private bathroom to clean off his face. This is what the missions had done to him in the past. Magnus couldn't even see himself in the mirror because he blocked it out, nothing but the rush of blood in his ears and the drip of water to keep him company. 

Once he was all cleaned up and the gun was hidden on him again, he left the office, and resumed the routine of his day. He met up with Valentine for lunch, and said all of the right things to keep himself on the man's good side. They were eating just yards away from the medical unit where Magnus knew the bombs were hidden. Knowing that information, but not being able to act on it, killed him. "I'm excited," Said Valentine around a bite of food. "My master plan is initiated in four days, and I get to tell you about it tomorrow. Something tells me that you'll love it." He promised, thinking about what Alec had told him.

Magnus nearly choked on his own lunch. "Four days?" He asked. He had been under the impression that he had more time. "That's quite soon," He said, trying to cover his shock with excitement. 

"I know," Valentine laughed. "Trust me, they cannot come fast enough."

Magnus forced himself to eat the rest of his meal, although his appetite had vanished. He had given himself a plan that would take up ten days, and now he was left with four. "Let's visit a friend, to chat." Valentine said when he had finished eating.

Magnus followed him silently, slowly recognizing the patterns on the walls as the area he had just fled hours earlier. The door that Valentine knocked on was the same Magnus had shortly before pulling out a gun and shooting the man, who was still siting there, dead.

When the man didn't answer, Valentine went ahead and opened his door with a master key-card and walked right in. "Oh, fuck," He gasped, halting in his steps. Magnus looked over Valentine's shoulder and saw the man just as he had left him, sprawled in the chair, glassy eyes forever fixed on their denied pleasure. Valentine grabbed a radio from one of his pant loops and called for medical. Shortly, men and women filled the room, cleaning up the mess and carrying away the body. Valentine was obviously shaken.

"Who could have done this?" Magnus asked, feigning uneasiness. "I need to get out of this room."

He backpedaled to the room he was given to share with the seven other soldiers. A few of them were there, and were startled by Magnus's sudden entrance. He hated when they were in the room, because it meant that he had to think in his head to Alec like an actual prayer that only made him feel more ridiculous. _Alexander,_ He called, curling up on his mattress and facing away from the others. _There's no time. Four days. How are we going to do this in only four days? I thought we had twelve, I had it all planned. I guess that doesn't matter now. I got the codes, at least, I hope that old man was sound enough to give me the right stuff. I need your help, I can't keep talking to the air._

_Valentine said that tomorrow he's going to explain everything to me, that night, we need to get to those bombs. He'll be focused on other things, trust me. I can bring you the codes if you can clear the way for me. Please, please Alec, just be there tomorrow._

There was only so much hope Magnus could broadcast into one message. He felt drained, like the end of the world could only mean a long vacation. He told himself that that wasn't true, that he couldn't think like that. He itched to see Alec, to plan things out with him rather than prepare himself through one-way conversations. Magnus laid in bed until late into the night, not able to sleep with the sound of a gun going off playing on loop in his mind over and over.

Alec had heard every word of Magnus's prayer loud and clear. He would be there the next night, ready to help in whatever way Magnus needed him to. Alec also vowed to kiss him again, to screw what his siblings had warned him about. If it was the end of the world, shouldn't he get to enjoy himself just a little bit? He was nervous for the outcome, but excited to see Magnus again. The cell was colder than the one he had been put in during his first few days at the Facility. Though that had only happened in the past few months, it felt like a lifetime ago, like a memory that Alec blinked during, and then it was gone. 

Alec laid down to sleep for the night, against the hard stone floor.  _I'll be there, Magnus._ He thought, although he knew that Magnus wouldn't hear him. The hope was nice.


	17. Chapter 17

Standing guard at the bottom of the stairs was just as trapping as being locked in the cell. The white, clean walls had turned to a visual cacophony that made Alec shudder. The thin wall of glass separating him from the M.A.D weapons was tempting to smash to bits, but he refrained, keeping his eyes focused ahead and his ears alert. Staying true to his promise, Alec had found his way back to the area he had been taken to a few days prior by some girl swept away by his beauty. 

Alec knew that the humans were easily floored by his physical appearance, and he hadn't given that fact much thought during the time he spent preparing to be sent to Earth. He certainly hadn't planned on getting used to the fact that he would meet a human that he viewed as more beautiful than any angel he had ever seen before, but that was getting off track.

The point stood that Alec didn't understand how Magnus could so easily manipulate others with his body. Had the girls not approached him, Alec would have never thought to use his physique to draw out answers. The image of Magnus with that man, the one he said he was getting the codes out of, played on a constant loop in Alec's mind. Whenever he thought about it, he felt sick, and yet he couldn't stop thinking about it. 

_Alec, I hope you came through._ Magnus's voice cut through his thoughts. _I'm on my way down, I'll try my best not to run into Valentine._

Alec perked up. Catching a glimpse of one of the rockets, he couldn't help but wonder what compelled a man to completely destroy his own species.   
~~~~~~~~~  
Anxiety always hit at the worst of times. During all of the time spent up to that point in the mission, Magnus had not had an episode. However, preparing himself for the act of actually going toward the bombs and beginning the process of actually ending everything, made his hands shake. The slightest noise made him jump, and when one of his roommates dropped a heavy book on the floor causing a loud bang, Magnus dove behind his bunk bed for cover like a gun had been fired.

Visions would be next. They weren't so much visions as they were flashbacks. Magnus knew that once he was reliving all of the kills and threats of the past, he would forget where he really was, focused only on his instructions. 

When it came to fight or flight, Magnus thought that in order to flee, a fight was necessary. He couldn't go down without one.   
Having enough of the feeling building in his chest and threatening to explode, Magnus got up to get going. He left his room and kept his head down, eyes focused on his feet, mind overly cautious of whether his pace was too fast or too slow. 

He made it downstairs without a hitch, and found that it wasn't as busy as usual. What may have simply been a busy work day made Magnus tense with suspicion and curiosity. Where was everyone? He made his way slowly to the faux-medical unit, stopping to stare at food-stores to make it seem like he was browsing. 

He finally made it to the edge of the curtains, and a woman rushed out, wearing a medics outfit that was out of date and too baggy on her frame. Magnus frowned, hoping that Alec was down there. He couldn't save the world on his own.

Taking one final glance around, Magnus spun behind the curtains, coming to face with a door that was still slightly agape from the woman that had just buzzed out of ot. Magnus crept through and hurried passed the side door labeled for workers, leaping down the stairs as fast as he could without breaking a leg.   
Alec heard the footsteps before Magnus even saw him. Turning, he raised a hand to blast away any potential threat, pausing only once he saw the familiar flash of dark black hair and tan skin. "Magnus," Alec called.

Magnus spun around the final landing, breathing heavily from how fast he had been moving. "Alexander." He said, a smile tugging on his lips. He ran down the rest of the stairs and crashed into the other man, pulling him into a tight hug. "I can't believe you actually came."

"I'll always come when you ask me to." Alec told him, squeezing him back tightly. 

Magnus pulled away, though Alec faltered for a second and still gripped his upper arm. "Take me to the bombs." 

Alec frowned. "They're right behind that glass."

Magnus looked and Alec saw his eyes widen. walking slowly towards the wall, Magnus could only stare. There were no words for the fear that had spread in him. "We need to find the control room." He managed to choke out, remembering that there was limited time left. A clock on the wall was brightly flashing a countdown that read two hours.   
The two started down the hall, keeping to the edges and shadows. The emptiness and eeriness made Magnus's stomach tighten, but he kept walking, focusing on the sound of Alec's steps right behind him. They eventually ran into a room marked controls. "Great!" Alec exclaimed, genuinely happy.

"This is too easy," Magnus whispered, knowing that something was wrong. The control room door was unlocked. There were no guards in the area that needed guarding the most. Magnus felt sick, but knew they couldn't turn back. He opened the door, and was greeted by the sight of two men sitting at the desks, backs turned away from the door. Magnus didn't hesitate, he raised the silenced gun that he had tucked away in the hem of his pants and shot the two men, not even blinking. 

The men lurched forward and fell, and Magnus realized that they had already been dead. "Alec--"

"Freeze!" A guard's voice called, making Alec jump. A gun pressed into his skull, and though he knew the bullet couldn't hurt him, he was frightened nonetheless. "Drop the gun," The man commanded Magnus.

Magnus knew that the dumbest thing he could possibly do would be to drop the gun. "Alexander," He muttered.

"Now!" The guard yelled.

"Duck," Magnus called, spinning around and raising the gun. Alec went to the ground and Magnus fired, faster than the guard could even blink. He fell to the ground, slamming with his dead weight. 

"Come on, we have to lock the door."

"Not so fast," A voice spoke. While Magnus and Alec had been distracted by the guard, Valentine had made his way in through a different door. 

There was no time to react. Valentine had taken a the butt of a gun and hit Magnus in the head before doing the same to Alec, who pretended to pass out with Magnus.

Waking up, Magnus was filled with a sense of panic. "Alec," He whispered as he awoke, jolting. His hands tugged against cuffs that were keeping him bound to a pillar. Alec was nowhere to be seen. He shifted to the side, and didn't feel the flash drive in his pocket. An icy terror flooded his chest, and he knew that he had failed his mission.   
Valentine was poised in a chair in front of him, watching him closely. "Did you really think I'd trust you so easily, Bane?"

"You had me convinced." Magnus spat. His head throbbed, but that was the least of his worries at the moment.

"Look," Valentine chuckled. "You are infamous around here. You should have used a disguise."

Magnus shrugged as best as his position would let him. "The world is ending." He said. "I wanted to have some fun."

Valentine hummed and leaned back. "Where is Alexander?" He asked.

"Shouldn't you know?" Magnus said. "You knocked us both out."

"That's the thing." hissed Valentine. "I knock him out, and he disappears. I lock him in a guarded cell, and he gets out without a mess. He seems to have some sort of power for escaping."

"It's not a magic trick," Magnus rolled his eyes. "I don't know what he does, or where he goes."

"I guess it doesn't matter." Valentine laughed. "In about twenty minutes, both you and him will be dead."

Magnus opened his mouth to spit back something witty, but there was a gust of wind and the faint flapping of wings, and then Alec appeared in a flurry of dust. "No," Magnus whispered just as Valentine laughed, "Perfect."

Alec was tense. After chained up by Valentine's men, he had waited for the room to clear to get out. "Alec, you have to try to input the codes."

"I'll take care of that." Alec said. 

"How?" Magnus asked. "Valentine took the flash drive."

This made Valentine perk up. "Flash drive?" He asked, puzzled.

Alec couldn't help but smile. From his pants pocket he produced the crucial piece of metal and plastic. He turned and plugged it into a computer, watching it sync with the device. "Where did you get that?" Valentine shouted, pulling his gun out. "Stop this!" He charged Alec, who easily flung him aside like he weighed nothing. Valentine then pulled out his gun and shot Alec, who was moved by the force of the bullet but otherwise unharmed. Confused, Valentine fired over and over, splattering blood everywhere but eventually realizing that the weapon wasn't hurting the boy. 

Magnus had to watch the whole thing, and was sweating by the time Valentine gave up. "If you don't stop, I'll shoot Magnus." Valentine threatened, turning the gun on Magnus. The metal was still hot from the previous shots, but Magnus did not flinch. 

This made Alec pause. He turned around, eyes wide. "Alec, finish the goddamn code." Magnus yelled.

"Go ahead." Valentine hissed, pressing the gun harder against Magnus. 

Alec stepped forward. "Alec, we'll all be dead if you don't do your fucking job!" Alec nodded and turned around. Valentine growled and fired a warning shot, hitting Magnus in the leg. The scream that was ripped from the soldier's lungs was guttural and heart wrenching. Alec started to go to him but through the pain Magnus choked out, "No, Alec, keep going."

Alec was torn on where to go. He had broken through the firewalls and access codes with the flash drive, and he was just a few clicks away from the kill switch. Alec saw that Valentine had the gun aimed at Magnus throat, a shot that was more likely to cause more suffering than an instantaneous death. "I can't lose you," Alec said to Magnus, voice so soft is was almost like he was speaking in his mind.

"Goddammit," Magnus groaned, mostly due to pain. "You already have."

The words hit Alec and knocked the air out of his chest. Magnus was right. Either way, he would die. Either by Valentine's gun, or by the bombs. Slowly, he turned and continued working. "If you don't stop, my next shot will be fatal." Valentine warned. But Alec did not falter that time. He clicked through code and options like he had been training his whole life in hacking. He finally got to the kill-switch, and pressed it. 

Valentine shot his gun.

Alec turned around and saw the mess. Magnus was slumped, unable to apply pressure to his wound. Blood was spilling everywhere. Though his mission was complete and his siblings were calling to him, Alec raised his hands and let his rage take control. There was no shaking, no uncertainty. When he blasted Valentine, Alec hit him with pure, unfiltered pain.

Valentine screamed. He tried to run, but the door had been locked. Every bone in his body snapped, and he crashed to the ground, twisting in agony. Alec had nothing to hold him back any more. The threat of the bombs was gone, and then Magnus was dead as well. Alec collapsed Valentines lungs so he couldn't breathe, stopped his heart so he couldn't live. He made sure his death was drawn out, until nothing remained but a broken, ugly lump. 

Exhausted, Alec fell to his knees. 

Before he had come back to Magnus, Alec boosted the radio strength with his energy and knew that Clary would bring soldiers to the Dry Lands to clean everything up. He knew they would find Magnus, and wonder where he had gone. Alec made his way to Magnus. 

"Please tell me you're still alive," Alec cried, reaching for Magnus even though he was fading away. It was time to go home. 

Magnus was breathing, though it was only a matter of time before he choked on his own blood. Alec couldn't let that happen. He grasped Magnus, giving him all of his energy, all of the things that humans needed to survive. Alec gave Magnus his life, what was left of his vessel before he was ripped away. "Hang on for a few hours, please." Alec begged. He held onto Magnus's hand as long as he could. Then he was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hint: if there was a major character death, I would have tagged it as such


	18. Not Without

There was peace. There was darkness. But mostly, there was celebration. 

Guns were thrown down, the people relieved to have been saved from death. Valentine's men were shocked at the public's reaction; they had been brainwashed to crave the end. Clary led her troops through the Dry Lands like Alec had instructed. He had told her that he would not be there when she arrived, and he had been telling the truth. What he did not warn her of, however, was finding Magnus's limp body barely clinging to life, locked to a pillar and bleeding out. 

Valentine's men and women were locked up. 

The world rebuilt itself. 

Humanity could only move forward.

There was a beeping, the faint robotic monitoring of Magnus's heart that let everyone know that he had not died yet. He had been asleep for four days, during which countless visitors left flowers and cards and other gifts, praising him as the hero he was. Clary worried about him ever waking up. Ragnor read him the news every day, hoping the positive words would inspire him to jump up as usual. Even Camille frowned every time the lab tests came back negative. 

There was a clean entrance and exit wound from the shot, and every doctor had wondered how he hadn't died. It seemed like a doctor had been there when he was shot and started saving his life. The only thing that mattered, however, was that Magnus was still hanging on.

While he was asleep, Magnus dreamed a lot. He was with Alec, on Earth, in a field of grass. They sat together a lot, talking about things that only made sense in dreams. Other times, Magnus would find himself somewhere he didn't recognize, again with Alec, surrounded in all white. During those dreams, Alec would be with a blond boy and a girl with the same dark hair as him, the trio more beautiful than anything Magnus had ever seen in his life. He didn't know who the other two were, but when he saw them, Magnus felt safe. When he was with Alec, whether it was in the grassy fields or the white nothingness, all he could feel was content.

After six days, Magnus finally woke up. There was a large vase of flowers obscuring his vision, and he believed for a moment to be in yet another dream. When he tried to look for Alec though, he found that a terrible pain shot through his whole body. He gasped, as that was about the only noise he could make.

The flowers parted and Ragnor's face appeared, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. "You're awake?"

"Yes," Magnus choked out, wincing at the pain. 

"We thought you were pretty much dead." Ragnor said.

_Thanks for the faith,_ Magnus wanted to say, _My heart's still beating, you know._ Such a complex sentence was too much for him to maneuver, so instead he just stared at his friend. Magnus had plenty of questions, like where Alec was, if he was okay, and if he made it out, but Ragnor was launching enthusiastically into a recount of what had happened. With his voice being too weak to interject, Magnus sat back as his friend told him the Utopian dream of a world without war. 

Magnus had been in school when the War had first started. Many people didn't want to involve what was then the United States, but much like in wars past, personal attacks meant personal involvement. Magnus grew up with war, it was all he knew. To hear his best friend tell him that he was safe seemed like some sort of sick joke. 

As Ragnor spoke, Magnus's neck and shoulders began to ache. Slowly, the dull pain spread into a raging fire of agony that pulled a cry from his throat and a demand for more pain medicine. Nurses ran in, and things calmed down. This was the cycle Magnus endured for the next week, constantly waiting for more pain medicine. Doctors came in, requesting to examine Magnus's wound for notes. They said that, yes, miracles happened in medicine all the time, but getting shot through the neck was not a survivable circumstance. "I had a friend with me," Was all Magnus could tell them when asked how he survived. 

The doctors would poke and prod, and Magnus would tell them about his partner on the mission, hoping to hear something about Alec, who had been missing in action. Sadly, nobody seemed to know anything about him, and if they did, they weren't telling Magnus. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You miss him," Isabelle sighed, appearing next to Alec.

"Of course I do," Alec told her, smiling softly. "I'm glad I got to know him."

"But you wish to be with him still."

Alec faltered. "Well, yes--"

"We've been talking," Jonathan appeared next to Isabelle.

"I'm not surprised by that." Alec deadpanned. 

"Your connection with him is strong," Johnathan continued, ignoring his brother's comment. "He sees us in his dreams."

Alec had definitely been aware of Magnus's fleeting spirit wandering around. It wasn't wholly Magnus, but it was close enough for Alec. "Why are we talking about this?" Alec asked. "It's painful enough without you two reminding me that I will never see him again."

Isabelle glanced at Johnathan, who nodded. They both looked at Alec. "What if," Isabelle smiled. Alec felt a growing suspicion that his siblings were conspiring on something. "You could?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Magnus was dreaming of Alec again. More specifically, Alec's smile, which hadn't seen much of before he left. His eyes fluttered open, dissolving the image of the perfect skin wrinkling due to a laugh. 

At first, Magnus thought he was dreaming still, since he was surrounded by white. Slowly, his senses picked up the beeping of the heart monitor, the feeling of the course hospital blanket on his bare arms, the smell of the bleach used to disinfect and finally, the fact that he could not move.

_Way to go, Bane._ Magnus thought to himself.  _You managed to land yourself in Medical again._

Gently, he was able to mumble, _"Alec,"_   Actually being able to talk led to him testing the waters and kicking his legs. He wiggled his toes, never happier to be able to do such a silly act. Ragnor was still there, smiling as usual, though Magnus had never seen him smile so much before. He continued to update Magnus like before, and Magnus finally exploded with the question that had bugging even his unconscious.  

 "And, what about Alec?" He asked.

Ragnor frowned. "When we got there, he was gone."

"G-gone?"

Ragnor nodded. "Nobody's seen him since."

Magnus blinked, refusing to cry. Instead he asked more questions about things he didn't care much about, like the reconstruction. "What's the plan?"

"Well," Ragnor chuckled. "Everyone wants you to lead them."

"No fucking way." Magnus shook his head. "I'm done. I'm only twenty-seven years old, and I've lived probably three lifetimes by now."

"You're twenty-eight now, actually. But you're still as dramatic as always."

"I got _older?"_ Magnus exclaimed. "Soon I'll be sprouting gray hairs." Ragnor laughed loudly.

"You're twenty-eight, not ninety-eight." He smiled. "And I agree, you've earned a break. The government is letting you keep your house free of charge, like always. Although they wanted me to let you know that there will always be a spot open for you, if you choose to come back."

"I won't," Magnus promised. "But thanks for the consideration."

When Ragnor left, Magnus was left alone with his thoughts, and he kept thinking about Alec. _Asshole,_ He prayed, despite his tone not matching that of a pious preacher. _You didn't even say goodbye._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Isabelle, what are you talking about?" Alec asked. His sister had been jumping with excitement over her fanatical idea. "You can't be thinking what I think you're thinking."

"Alec," Isabelle began, utilizing the nickname he had been given. "You are miserable now that you're away from him."

Alec looked at his brother. "When I was on Earth, you two threatened me to stay away from Magnus, and now you're urging me to go back?"

"You proved us wrong." Johnathan shrugged, smiling slightly.

"Then why'd I come back in the first place?" Alec asked.

"Because you're not fully a human," Isabelle explained. "But... you could be."

Alec's mouth dropped open. "Please tell me you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting." 

"Why not?" Johnathan asked. 

Alec shook his head. "It would be too painful for him, for me."

"Think about it." His siblings urged him. So he thought. It wasn't hard to think about Magnus, especially when Magnus had been praying to him. Praying wasn't necessarily the right word, Magnus was really communicating with him, taking advantage of his ability to talk one-way with Alec and curse him for leaving him so suddenly. Alec couldn't even tune him out. 

A few days later, Alec managed to find time alone. His brothers and sisters had been asking him about the humans, what it had been like to be so close with them after so long. Thinking out loud, Alec asked his question as though Magnus was right next to him. "Did you love me?" It had been a month since the incident. Magnus was out of the hospital and back in his house, basking in the fact that walking outside was no longer a death wish. "Is that what this is?"

If Alec focused, he could see Magnus. And when Magnus prayed to him, his voice was like a knife slicing through his heart. _Please come back, Alexander._ Was the typical prayer. _Just to say goodbye, and then I'll leave you alone._ Alec couldn't risk it. He knew that if he went to Magnus, he might not be able to leave again. 

"You're thinking about him again." Johnathan said, appearing next to Alec.

"He talks to me, sometimes." Alec told him, smiling. "Mostly he just calls me names and asks me to go to him." 

"So go to him." Johnathan said.

Alec sighed. "I don't have my human form any more. It would do more harm than good. And I can't do what you and Isabelle are suggesting." Alec stated before Johnathan could protest any more.

"I don't see why not."

"Giving up my family permanently?" Alec asked. "You honestly can't see why I'm unable do that?" Alec was fuming, though he knew his brother meant no harm. 

"That's the thing," Johnathan started. "It wouldn't be permanent." Alec sighed, and Jonathan continued on. "After seventy or eighty years, you'd come back. You'd have your human life of love, and then come home. Like a long vacation." Alec couldn't help but smile. He was giving into the idea, itching to just touch Magnus. "Isabelle and I can't fully understand how you feel. But you've been with the humans, and for a long time, too. They are smart, and perhaps the happiness that they make you feel is worth all of the bad things as well." Johnathan was done his little speech, and waited patiently for Alec to say anything. 

"It would be rather selfish--"

"Oh, just do it!" Isabelle exclaimed, appearing. "Nobody here will think that you're being selfish. We all can see how happy the human makes you. And, you seem to make him pretty happy as well. This works out for everybody in the end, so why are you so hesitant?"

Alec took a breath. "I guess I've got nothing to lose. He smiled at his siblings. "Looks like I'm going back to Earth."  
  



	19. Chapter 19

Eventually, Magnus stopped praying. He would talk about Alec only if somebody else brought the man up. After he had been discharged from the medical unit, Magnus moved into his house and slept there every night, contrary to how he used to live. His episodes were frequent and intense, and he often found himself screaming for help in the middle of the night with nobody around. He didn't mention this to anyone, fearful of what it could mean. So, he stayed in his house, locked the doors, and turned off his phones.   
Magnus sat at his desk, looking at a calendar that he had been using to keep track of the days. It had been one whole year since everything that happened. With a sigh, Magnus drew another _X_ through the day, marking yet another passage of time that he didn't care to acknowledge.

A rapid knocking came on his front door, and Magnus ignored it. People would often try to stop by and talk to him about the past, about everything that he wanted to forget. Or, Ragnor would visit and try to coax Magnus out into the city that had grown back to its economic peak of a decade ago. The knocking didn't stop after five minutes, and Magnus heard Ragnor calling his name. "Go away," Magnus yelled. "I'm not going shopping with you."

"This isn't about shopping!" Ragnor replied, voice muffled through the thick wooden door. "I have something to tell you!"  
Magnus pushed his chair back and made his way to the door, working on the several locks he had in place to keep people out. "What?" He finally asked once the door swung open.

"Let's go sit down." Ragnor started, moving to go past Magnus.

"What's wrong?" Magnus stopped him, tense. 

"Nothing's wrong," Ragnor told him, though his eyes darted around and he nervously licked his lips. "There's just been some news."

"What news?"

"Magnus, I don't want you to freak out." Ragnor said. "It's about Alexander."

Magnus wondered if it was possible for the whole world to stop spinning, because that's what it felt like in that moment. "A-Alexander?" Magnus asked, half-believing that Alec had been a figment of his imagination. "Is something wrong?"

"I told you, nothing's wrong." Ragnor smiled. "We've just received a transmission from the old Facility saying that a man appeared in the middle of nowhere, disoriented and only being able to say his name. When he was taken in, Camille recognized him."

For a second, it seemed like Magnus was unfazed by the news. He blinked, feeling his whole body start to buzz with excitement, his feet trying to get him to go. "It's been a year, Ragnor." He said, though his voice was shaking. "He just disappeared. Why would he even want to see me?" Magnus remembered one of the last times they had spoken, how he had bitterly promised to just remain partners on a mission. Alec brokenly saying, _I can't lose you,_ had played on a loop in Magnus's mind for months.

Ragnor frowned. "I doubt he'd come back for any reason other than you."

Magnus looked down at his shoes. Keeping the excitement out of his voice, he said, "Let's go then." He locked up his house. "I'll drive us." He announced, hopping into the vehicle Ragnor had brought over. Starting the familiar drive, Magnus realized that it had been a while since he had visited the Facility. Ragnor knew not to push his friend, so the car was silent during the ride, until Magnus parked outside of the old stone building and couldn't seem to get out. 

"Magnus?" Ragnor asked.

"Is it really him?"

"According to Camille," Ragnor said. "Although she says that something is different."

"How so?"

"Well, for starters, someone was able to beat him up." Ragnor told him. "He was bleeding, unhealed, and couldn't walk a straight line. He had to be medically sedated because he kept saying that he felt like he was on fire, crying out and screaming. Everyone was worried."

The description made Magnus worry, too. Alec couldn't be hurt by anything. If he bled, he healed himself. What was wrong? Anxious, Magnus got out of the car and entered the familiar building, feeling nostalgic due to all of the time he had spent there. "Magnus," A boy with blond hair greeted him. He looked friendly enough, probably a worker that had been informed about the situation. "I'm guessing you've heard?"

"Where is he?" Magnus asked, skipping the greetings. It had been a year. He had questions, and not for random nurses .

The boy glanced behind Magnus to Ragnor, who nodded to him. "I'll take you to the room he's in." He said. "But he's still asleep, so just be careful."

Magnus nodded and followed the stranger up a flight of stairs to where many of the patient rooms were located. "He's in 203," He informed Magnus. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"N-no," Magnus shook his head, though he didn't sound very convincing, even to himself. "I just need to see him." He turned to say thank you to the worker for guiding him, but he had disappeared, practically into thin air. 

He walked toward the door and slowly pushed it open. The room was empty save for the boy laying in the bed against the wall, eyes closed and breathing calmly. He had dark hair and light skin, perfect face bruised and swollen. Blood had dried from his nose, staining his lips. Magnus felt the air leave his body, and couldn't quite get himself to inhale more. It was Alec.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The process of becoming human was long and arduous. Alec had to give up everything he was used to. Earning a human's soul meant feeling everything a human felt, down to the sensitivity to temperature, something that Alec didn't even know existed. When he fell, he didn't know how to support the sudden weight on his legs that had been nothing when he had been an angel. The noise of his heavy breathing and rushing blood was scary in that moment, and when people came to him, asking questions and crowding around him, Alec had panicked.

He tried fighting to escape, but the people there knocked him down and contained him. Alec figured it must be easy to fight when you actually know how to control your body. He had never felt pain before, so being punched felt like the equivalent of being stabbed. When he couldn't stop the bleeding with his own energy, he felt even more panicked. Everything felt wrong, from the rub of his clothes on his skin, to the heat making him sweat, his nerves were too sensitive; like a baby's, all the feelings and experiences were brand new so of course they were more intense.

He was dragged inside of the familiar Facility, which did not aid in calming him down. He remembered the cold cell that he was confined in, and tried harder to fight against the people leading him further inside. He ended up freeing a hand and punching the girl next to him, who promptly punched him right back in the nose, breaking the skin. The hit made Alec dizzy, thus easier to drag to a room. 

They got him to lay down, though he yelled against the feeling of the sheets scraping his arms and legs. "It hurts," Alec tried to tell them.

"What hurts?" A nurse asked, trying to give him some sort of diagnosis.

"Everything," Alec choked.

A doctor rushed in, asking for his name, only to tense when she heard that the stranger was Alec. "Get me a sedative." She ordered.

"We don't know what's wrong with him," Someone argued.

"Get me a goddamn sedative!" The doctor yelled, quieting even the whimpering Alec. The medicine arrived and when the needle pierced his skin, Alec felt like he was being shot right in the arm. As the medicine slowly entered his system, the edges of his vision grew fuzzy. He wasn't used to being affected by human devices. Right before he was knocked out, he remembered that he was human then, and that thought scared him.

Waking up again was not any easier than the first time. Alec was very aware of his lungs expanding and shrinking automatically, and found that if he stopped the movements, he got light-headed. He was tolerating the pain of everything, to the point where it became background noise. Eventually, he even welcomed the warmth of the hospital blanket covering his cold legs. 

He made himself blink, taking note of how the action made his eyes stop stinging. After a few minutes of laying still on the bed, adjusting to the sensation of everything, Alec became aware that he was not alone in the room. Someone was sleeping next to him, slumped over in a chair. He was amazed that when he thought of looking over, he did. Like his muscles just knew to move. 

The head laying next to him had dark black hair and tan skin. His heart sped up, the beeping a giveaway. "M--Magnus?" He croaked out, voice raw from the screaming. 

With a gasp, Magnus jumped up. There was a pause, both men looking at each other, examining. "Alexander," Magnus eventually spoke, reaching forward. He stopped, remembering that Alec had left, and probably did not want to be touched by Magnus. "What brings you back here?"

Alec looked at Magnus like the question confused him. "You," He said softly.

It was Magnus's turn to be confused. "You didn't stay for me last time,"

"I couldn't." Frowned Alec, who was hoping for a much happier reunion. 

"Well," Scoffed Magnus. "Aren't you just going to have to leave again?"

Alec shook his head. "No." He promised. "I'm human now."

Magnus had never heard of an angel becoming a human, so he said, "This isn't a joke."

"I'm not laughing," Alec said. "In fact, everything hurts."

Magnus wanted to run. He wanted to bolt out of the room and lock himself in his house again. He felt like any second, Magnus would be gone again. He stood, stepping away from the bed as to not give in to any urges. "You were gone for a whole year." Magnus said, voice shaking. Before Alec could say something else, Magnus quickly said, "let's get you cleaned up." Magnus helped Alec up and guided him to the door, as he still struggled with finding his balance. 

"I was more graceful before I was a human," Alec chuckled, sweating through the effort of walking. Magnus stayed silent.

Halfway down the hall, Camille called out to him. "Magnus Bane, where are you going with my patient?"

"I'm taking him to my home, a real home where he can rest in peace and not be bombarded twenty-four-seven like a science experiment." Magnus replied.

"You can't just take him out of the hospital!" Camille called.

"Try to stop me," Magnus spit, turning his back on her and continuing to guide Alec.

Outside, Alec winced and leaned heavier on Magnus. "Why are you barefoot?" Magnus asked, noticing Alec's lack of shoes.

"I didn't think about shoes." Alec told him, chuckling still.

Magnus sighed. "I told you, it's not funny." He loaded Alec into the car and helped buckle him up, saying, "You're not invincible anymore." While driving, Alec clutched onto the seat and looked more pale, probably due to motion sickness but Magnus didn't ask. Instead, he had a more pressing question. "If you're human now, how did you survive the Fall again?"

"My siblings helped me." Alec answered quickly, not looking away from the window he was frozen on. Magnus made the sharp turn into his driveway (that had recently been paved) and then helped Alec into his house. 

"Everything should be as you remember it." Magnus said, locking the door behind him. "You're all bloody and sweaty and covered in dirt, you should go shower."

"Oh, okay." Alec said. He didn't move. He didn't know what a shower was. Magnus caught on and took him to the bathroom, starting the water up and instructing Alec on what to do.

"You'll take your clothes of-- Not yet!" He exclaimed, stopping Alec, who had begun unbuttoning his pants. "When I leave, you'll get naked." Magnus sighed, blushing slightly. "Then you'll get in and use soap to scrub away everything. You'll feel better afterwards."

Alec nodded. Magnus felt the water and found that it was warm enough. "Okay," He announced. "I'll leave now, just come find me afterward. I'll be here."

Magnus left the bathroom and went to the kitchen, starting to boil a pot of water. He watched the metal intently, trying not to think about the fact that Alec was back, in his shower. Naked. Magnus couldn't afford to think about those things, not after everything that had happened. 

The teapot started to whistle and Magnus turned the heat off. As he started to pour the water in a mug, he heard a scream from the bathroom. He didn't think, he just started running, forgetting the tea altogether. "Alec," He called, knocking on the bathroom door. "Are you alright?" He heard sobbing, and pushed his way in. "What's happening?" He asked over the noise of the water and Alec's cries.

"It... hurts," He sobbed. Magnus hesitated, then pulled the curtain open to find Alec curled in the tub, as far away from the water as possible. 

"Is the water too hot?" He asked, feeling it. It felt warm, if not cold. He changed the temperature and asked Alec to try it again, but the spray still produced a scream from the other man. 

"It's just, I'm not used to it." Alec explained.

"It's okay," Magnus said. "I'll help clean you up, maybe a bath would be better." He switched the flow of water so that it slowly filled the tub. Alec's eyes widened and he tried to stand up, but Magnus put a hand on his shoulder. "Try to relax. Baths are supposed to be relaxing. You have to get used to bathing if you want to be hygienic." 

"Magnus," Alec whimpered, closing his eyes. Magnus didn't enjoy seeing Alec in pain, but he also knew that he would have to get used to feeling everything as a human in order to survive. 

"Here," Magnus said, shutting the water off. "Just relax." Alec closed his eyes, and slowly his grimace turned into a slack face. "Alright, I'm going to clean your face up." Magnus announced, grabbing a hand towel and wetting it in the water, taking the moment to mix up soap in the liquid. Gently, he dabbed at the dried blood on Alec's face. Alec winced and jerked away. "Shh, it's okay." Magnus whispered, waiting for Alec to relax again. 

Magnus cleaned Alec's face after a few minutes and a lot of pauses. "There," He smiled. "Good as new. How do you feel?"

Alec slowly opened his eyes. "I... I feel good." He nodded.

"Alright," Magnus smiled. He cupped some water and poured it on Alec's hair, which had been drying. Alec shivered.

"It doesn't really feel, uh, bad. Just weird." He described.

"Better than you screaming in pain." Magnus replied, squeezing shampoo into his palm. "This is to clean your hair." He explained. He started to massage Alec's scalp, making the soap lather, before scooping water to wash it away. "Lean your head back," Magnus instructed. Alec sank into his touch. "This will keep it out of your eyes, it stings."   
Soon Alec was completely clean. "There." Magnus said. He went to stand. "There's a towel on the sink, so you can wipe the water off. I can let you borrow some of my clean clothes."

Alec nodded. Magnus started to head to his dresser to find clothes, pausing when he heard Alec mutter, "Magnus," Alec looked shameful. "Thank you."

"It's nothing," Magnus shrugged, though he felt like crying. He left to let Alec dry off and get dressed in peace. When he came out of the foggy bathroom, his shirt was on inside out, which Magnus helped him fix with a chuckle. 

"I don't know how humans deal with these things every day." Alec sighed. "It's like all of the minute things set my nerves on fire."

"We deal with it," Magnus began. "Because sometimes those minute things feel good." His hands had been resting on Alec's shoulders after helping him with the shirt, and they trailed lower, to his chest. Again, Alec shivered, and Magnus hoped it wasn't out of discomfort. Realizing what he was doing, Magnus snapped back to reality. "I made tea," He said quickly, clearing his throat and turning to the abandoned pot. 

"Magnus," Alec said from behind him.

"I have different flavors, if you'd like to mix it up." Magnus continued on.

"Magnus," Alec repeated.

"Let's see, I've got green tea, lemon, Chai--"

"Magnus, we need to talk." Alec finally declared. 

Magnus dropped the tea bags and turned to face Alec. "There's nothing to talk about." He shrugged. "You left. It's been a year." 

Alec shook his head. "Magnus, I told you. I came back for you. I broke every rule for you."

Magnus never gave up grudges easily. "How can I trust you?" He asked coldly. "One night you're kissing me, then you disappear and tell me that you don't want me like that, then you tell me you can't lose me, and you then disappear _again."_

"I told you, I would have been replaced if I had continued to show my feelings for you. My brother would have been sent down, and I would have never seen you again. Ever." Alec explained. Magnus remembered the excuse.

"So what makes now any different?" He asked.

Alec smiled. "The world isn't ending." He stepped toward Magnus. "I get to stay here, with you, forever." Magnus didn't say anything, he knew that if he touched Alec he wouldn't be able to let go again.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Alexander." He said quietly. Alec was close, close enough to grab and pull in, but Magnus held back. 

"I keep my promises." Alec replied. He closed the distance between Magnus by grabbing the collar of his shirt and kissing him roughly. Magnus gave up everything then, and wrapped his arms around Alec's neck, chasing his lips every time he pulled away slightly. 

Alec felt no pain with the contact, but he did feel a strange pull in his body to be closer to Magnus, even though he was as close as possible. He didn't know what the feeling was, but it was like he needed Magnus. Alec gasped when Magnus started kissing places that weren't his mouth, like his neck and upper chest. Alec didn't know he could do that, but he liked it. Magnus grabbed at the hem of Alec's shirt. "Take this off," He panted.

"Why?" Alec asked.

"Just do it," Magnus said. "If you're comfortable with that, of course." He had to remind himself that Alec knew nothing. 

Alec just nodded and pulled his shirt off. Magnus paused and let his hands run over Alec's muscles, gawking at his beauty. He smirked. "Remember when I asked you to sleep with me that night, and you said we couldn't do that?" 

Alec blushed but stammered, "Y-yes."

"Does that rule still apply?" Magnus asked, leaning in to kiss Alec's bare shoulders, his chest, as low as he could go without dropping to his knees.

"No," Alec told him, pulling Magnus up to his lips. "No rules apply anymore."

Magnus smiled. "Then follow me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay reunion 
> 
>  
> 
> next chapter is gonna be smut sorrynotsorry


	20. Chapter 20

"I can't believe you're here." Magnus sighed, placing a kiss on Alec's stomach. "I thought I made you up."

"I'm here," Alec said, laying on the bed, unsure where to put his hands. Magnus was in charge, kissing Alec all over and sucking and licking, and Alec felt lost. He knew Magnus would never hurt him, though. "I've always been here."

Magnus placed a trail of kisses down Alec's abdomen, stopping right above his pants. Alec had originally decided that he hated having his human body be so aware of his nerves, that every feeling was horrible, but when Magnus undid his pants and started kissing his thighs, Alec felt like he was back home, completely serene and blissful. A moan slipped out of his mouth, surprising him. His hands flew to Magnus hair, grabbing and pulling. Alec wasn't used to having a dick that actually did things other than represent what a male human body looked like, so he was even more surprised by how hard he had gotten. 

"You okay?" Magnus asked, feeling Alec tense.

"Yes," Alec nodded. "Kiss me." 

Magnus obliged him, moving back up Alec's body to connect their lips. "Can I try something?" He asked. "You can tell me to stop if you don't like it."  
Alec nodded, wondering what Magnus would do next. He was a little disappointed when he went back down, because that meant he couldn't kiss him. His disappointment vanished quickly when Magnus completely removed Alec's pants and wrapped a hand around his dick, moving it up and down a few times before lowering his mouth. Alec gasped and closed his eyes, throwing his head back in delight. He moaned, and Magnus took that as a sign to keep going. 

As he sucked, Alec pulled his hair and groaned, become a complete mess under Magnus tongue. Eventually, Magnus stopped, and Alec looked hurt by the action. "There's more, we have time," Magnus said, voice rough. Alec nodded, though he didn't know what else could possibly happen. Magnus thought for a second. He didn't want to hurt Alec or scare him away, and he figured there would be plenty of chances to switch things up. 

Magnus got up off the bed and Alec sat up quickly, worrying that he had done something wrong. Magnus looked through one of the drawers by his bed until he pulled out a bottle of some sort of liquid and came back to the bed. "What's that?" Alec asked, kissing Magnus quickly.

"It's called lube," Magnus said. "It makes things easier, trust me." It had been a while, but Magnus remembered what to do well enough. He coated his fingers generously with the liquid and reached behind himself. "Watch me, then try to copy what I do." He told Alec, whose eyes were wide with lust and curiosity. Slowly, Magnus pushed in one finger, a little awkward considering the position. After a minute, he could add another, stretching himself. Alec was a little confused as to why Magnus was putting his fingers in himself, but didn't question anything when the man grabbed Alec's hand and started sucking on his fingers.

"Your turn," Magnus announced, guiding Alec's hand behind him. Alec didn't know what he was doing, or why Magnus looked uncomfortable. "Move your fingers," He told Alec. "Trust me, we're getting to the good part." 

Alec did as he was told, blindly wiggling his fingers around. Magnus was moving up and down, working himself on Alec's fingers. "Ah," He moaned, feeling Alec hit his prostate. "So good," His moan made Alec shudder. "Okay, here." Magnus panted, breathless. He grabbed Alec's wrist and pulled it away, positioning himself over his dick. He rubbed some lube on it for good measure, then turned back to look at Alec.

"Tell me to stop at any time," Magnus said, leaning down to kiss Alec. Then, he lowered himself, sinking down slowly until there was nowhere else to go. Both men panted, Alec feeling like he was going to explode and Magnus ready to go. Slowly, he started moving himself up and down, Alec gripping his hips and staring at him with wide eyes.  
Magnus was waiting for the human instincts to kick in; after all, shouldn't Alec have a basic idea of fucking? 

Alec growled and sat up, rushing to kiss Magnus, who wrapped his legs tightly around Alec's waist as he was flipped around, their bodies crashing together in the new position. Alec started moving on his own, thrusting into Magnus fast and hard. Magnus screamed, scraping Alec's back with his nails. 

Something started to bubble in Alec's stomach, and he felt an uncontrollable need to keep pushing into the heat of Magnus. Magnus started stroking himself in time with Alec, who was pressing sloppy kisses wherever he could land them. "Magnus," He panted, feeling his whole body tighten, not sure what was happening but never wanting it to stop.

Magnus whispered in Alec's ear, low and hot, "Come on, Alec, come." Alec thrust again. "Come for me."

Alec knew what the words meant, and pushed deeper into Magnus, who just moaned and kissed Alec's shoulder. When Alec came, the feeling was unlike anything he had experienced before. He swore that he blacked out for a second, and wondered how humans lived their lives without trying to feel that way twenty-four-seven.   
Magnus tugged harder on himself and brought himself to a climax through Alec's frantic thrusting, tightening around Alec and making him whine.

They stayed together, sharing air and just taking in each other. Alec's head was buzzing. Magnus felt happy enough to cry. Soon Alec grew uncomfortable with the feeling of Magnus, as he was overstimulated. "Pull out," Magnus told him, and when Alec did he felt empty. 

Alec collapsed next to Magnus on the bed, but was unable to close his eyes. Magnus wanted to say a million things. He wanted to proclaim his love, shout it from the rooftops, but instead he just let himself come down from his buzz. He had plans for Alec, and the night was far from over.

Alec couldn't stop touching Magnus, tracing his hands on his exposed skin, eyes seemingly stuck on the man laying next to him. He understood then why sex was a sin in some cases, because all of the most amazing things in life were considered sinful. When Magnus fucked him, the blinding pain Alec felt melted into a feeling completely different from the one he felt the first time. He noticed that at certain times, Magnus would thrust into him and hit something in him that made waves of pleasure roll through him. Then Magnus grabbed Alec's dick while he was moving his hips and Alec was gone, not three hours after their first time together.

After that second time, both men were completely spent. It was evening, the sun hung low in the sky. As they laid together, half asleep and peaceful, a loud grumble filled the room. Alec was confused by the noise, wondering why his stomach was shaking. Magnus just chuckled. "Have you eaten anything since becoming a human?"

"No," Alec told him.

"Well, I'll cook for you then." Magnus smiled. "I'm hungry myself."

He rolled out of bed and pulled underwear on, much to Alec's disappointment. Magnus padded softly to the kitchen and looked for something to make, deciding on pasta. It wasn't anything fancy, but he figured Alec would be impressed if Magnus just managed not to burn the house down.

They ate dinner together as the sky darkened, the radio playing songs that had been banned for over a decade, Magnus humming along gently and Alec watching him, a smile on his face.

Alec may have came from Heaven itself, but he found a piece of it then, in Magnus's living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was probably the shortest chapter of all because i am not good at writing smut, sorry if i disappointed. Next chapter will be the last.


	21. Chapter 21

It was snowing. The cold flakes fell from the sky in a gently flurry. Alec was amazed, blinking up at the sky and laughing when the flakes hit his face. Magnus watched as Alec held out his hands, shivering against the cold but not retreating. They were in town.

The city was alive around them. A few people recognized Magnus, but it was mostly him and Alec together in their own world. Magnus was bundled up in his jacket and gloves, even a red beanie to keep his ears warm, and he had made sure that Alec was completely warm before going too far from home, though Alec seemed to prefer the lower temperatures anyway. 

They drank hot chocolate, Alec humming his approval of the chocolaty beverage and Magnus kissing away the excess on his mouth. The lights of the city twinkled around them, and they watched as people moved around, laughing and happy. "We did that," Magnus whispered. He couldn't imagine the world ending anymore. Sure, he had days were he felt like he couldn't go outside, or some nights when he was woken up by a nightmare exploding in his head, but it was the moments like that one, next to Alec in the city, seeing humanity thrive, that made it all worth it. 

If it was a bad day, Alec was there to hold Magnus's hand and keep him together, and Alec was just as ready to face the good days. They didn't speak of Valentine, or the bombs, or the War. There was no need to.

The world was safe, and they had each other.

What else could they ask for? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the ending. It's so so short because I feel like there's no need to drag out a chapter just for a higher word count.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this fic (even though I'm sure there are better ones out there for you to spend your time on) and thank you for the comments, they are my favorite part of writing. I'm planning on writing a really long fic soon, so keep your eyes open for that!
> 
> Again, thank you so much. Credit to CC for the amazing characters Alec and Magnus, who have slowly been taking over my life haha <3

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes I like my writing and other times I think it's terrible...... this is one of those times
> 
> but I really like the idea so I'm posting it anyway (I'm very tired and don't ever proof read so you can bet there will be errors)


End file.
